He just likes going to gay nightclubs to watch his friend Charice sing pop songs. Season 7 runner-up David Archuleta was spotted at a club this weekend, igniting ribald speculation across the Twitterverse. So he was forced to "defend" himself.

Did Page Six get you all excited this morning about the possibility of Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law doing a steamy gay love scene in Guy Ritchie's upcoming Sherlock Holmes? We scoured the screenplay for the movie's gayest scene.

He is talking about how Senators are lonely, and desperate for love, or something.

Hah, Ron Paul will be in Bruno. Sacha Baron Cohen lured him to studio with the promise of a serious interview about economics, and instead, obviously, it became a gay panic joke.

Bill O'Reilly did a segment on American Idol contestant Adam Lambert's apparent gayness last night, but actual photographs of two men kissing were too much for the old man.

The MPAA's "no homo" rule strikes again! Sascha Baron Cohen's new mockumentary Bruno, in which he terrorizes straight men with flagrant gayness, has earned an NC-17, partly because of a scene depicting buttsex.

Larry Craig, the U.S. senator whose airport-bathroom gay-sex bust introduced the phrase "wide stance" into Beltway argot, has run out of appeals to withdraw his guilty plea for disorderly conduct.

Did Travolta hire his unqualified gay lover to care for an ill child, who then died on the faux nanny's watch? If so, you won't read about it in the trashiest of Internet tabloids.

Ruben Diaz Sr got mad at the gays and some threats were made, but now Diaz has set the record straight in a crazy press release addressed to "Liz Smith."

With a pro-gay marriage governor in Albany, Democrats suddenly taking control of the entire New York state legislature, a liberal Democratic president, and Democratic majorities in both houses of congress, one might think this would be a good moment for the gays! One would be wrong. First, Governor Paterson backed off from supporting a gay marriage vote, partly because a bunch of Democratic Senators went rogue, and partly because of The Economy. The Economy is bad, so no gay marriage! Well. Now, President Barack Obama is putting the brakes on his crazy plan to end discrimination in the military. Because there is not "consensus." Obama did kinda promise to end "Don't Ask Don't Tell," the old Clinton compromise, while he was campaigning. Now that he's won, he knows that governing requires not doing what is ethically right but politically difficult. Or at least holding off on doing it. So, gays, look for your right to die for your country to be granted some time in 2010, as long as a special Pentagon committee and the Joint Chiefs of Staff all agree that your serving in uniform won't make the uniform all faggy and gross.

This is what we meant the other day when we said we just didn't find Greg Gutfeld funny. Gawker video superfriends Richard Blakeley and Morgan Miller combed through a week's worth of episodes of Gutfeld's 3 a.m. laff riot Red Eye and edited it down to only the gay jokes. There are many. Many, many jokes about how funny it would be if Greg, who enjoys sleeping with women, were a homosexual. See? You are laughing already. Boys talking about kissing boys! Comedy gold! Sigh.

The Louisville Courier-Journal has been accused by irate readers of "pushing the ol' homosexual agenda" for publishing this photo of two Louisville Cardinals baskeball players totally being gay with each other. The paper's ombud says there will be no apology and asks what is so wrong about publishing photos of hot student athlete-on-student athlete action. [Courier-Journal via Romenesko]