Way up in Wasilla, where the men are men and the moose are meat, members of the high school symphonic jazz choir were excitedly rehearsing for the upcoming graduation ceremony, where they'd be performing an epic rendition of Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody." Then they were told by Principal Dwight Probasco (that's his staff directory page) that the song had been pulled from the program. "Why?" they wondered, having put months of effort into the big number. Probasco explained it was because he'd received a complaint from a parent. You see Freddie Mercury, the vocalist who had sung the original version of the song, was gay.

Wisconsin Judge Philip Kirk sentenced a 71-year-old, former school bus driver named Delton Gorges to seven years in prison today. Gorges' crime? Sexually assaulting four boys over the course of 40 years. Gorges, who was once married and has a child, swears he's straight, prompting the judge to make the following observation:

The makers of America's Beer, Budweiser, have released an ad about a soldier coming home from one of the various wars and celebrating with his family and friends in a well-lit sexy barn party stocked with Budweiser beer. That's nice. But the soldier's gay, right? The gays are wondering. The spot's two principals are the soldier and a certain guy back home, who's either his brother or a very best friend or his super gay lover. Not like they're fucking or anything.

A hearty mazel tov to New York State's gay and lesbian inmates in "official" relationships (or as official as the state currently allows, which isn't much). Conjugal visits with your partners are now allowed! [NYDN]

Gay activist and former Republican operative Fred Karger, who's running for president just so he can get into a Republican debate and heckle Mitt Romney about gay issues, has already half-accomplished his praiseworthy goal. The South Carolina GOP has invited Karger to its May 5 debate, presented by Fox News. But don't double-butter your popcorn just yet! Karger first has to meet a tough additional requirement.

Former Senator Alan Simpson (R-WY) appeared on Hardball tonight, and used the opportunity to rail against social conservatives giving the Republican party a bad name. He first took them to task for pro-life legislation ("Who the hell is for abortion?...They're hideous, but they're a deeply intimate and personal decision, and I don't think men legislators should even vote on the issue"), then aimed his sights on anti-gay forces, singling out another former Senator, Rick Santorum (R-PA), by name.

It seems as though Marine Corps Gen. James Amos (pictured, third from left), a onetime outspoken opponent of the Don't Ask, Don't Tell repeal, has had a change of heart. Where only recently he was testifying that letting gay soldiers serve openly would have a "strong potential for disruption at the small unit level," today he told the House Armed Services Committee that "the clear majority of [feedback] is very positive." Which means gay soldiers could serve openly as soon as this June. Ha! Suck on it, House Armed Services Committee.

On Jimmy Kimmel Live, Jake Gyllenhaal talked about his male best friend, who isn't helping the rumors about his sexuality. This friend got caught "fixing Jake's tie" and screamed "yeah, baby!" when Jake won his BAFTA award. That's not fishy at all...

Yesterday, President Obama told federal lawyers to stop defending the "One Man, One Woman" Defense of Marriage Act, a step forward for gays seeking equal rights. Tonight, Jon Stewart detailed the developments, and also unveiled a new Twitter account!

Southern fast food chain Chick-fil-A has caused an uproar with its support of anti-gay groups like Focus on the Family. People are boycotting it and circulating petitions! But why is no one mentioning that Chick-fil-A isn't that great?

Conservative saboteur Andrew Breitbart, the man behind the ACORN "pimp" and not-racist NAACP videos, has a new project lined up: grinding balls with gay conservatives at a "big ol' gay party" in early February. Have you made your travel arrangements?

Beware the "shirtless and squeezed into tight jeans ... hunky undercover" cop who's prowling Palm Springs's fertile gay breeding grounds, making busts. Locals are incensed about a series of indecent exposure arrests in what they view as their "gay mecca."

Capt. Owen Honors, second-in-command of the U.S.S. Enterprise aircraft carrier, is being investigated for performing in a series of dumb video sketches, which include anti-gay slurs and women showering together. You can watch excerpts below.

The Senate took a big step toward ending the military's ban on openly gay servicemembers today, voting to end debate on a bill repealing the military's Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy.

It's sad that the debate over repealing "Don't Ask Don't Tell" may be over, and we'll stop hearing comically bizarre arguments against repeal. So let's savor Rep. Louis Gohmert's theory of gays and imperial decline, while we still can.

Barring some extraordinary legislative feat, a repeal of "Don't Ask Don't Tell" appears to be dead, finally. "Moderate" Republicans didn't get their ever-shifting demands met before Harry Reid brought it for a vote today, and it lost.

Defense Secretary Robert Gates told Navy sailors serving in the Arabian Sea today that despite the push from him and other Pentagon leaders, the military's ban on gays serving openly is likely to continue into the next year.

According to a Pew study, Americans are increasingly supportive of "gays" and "woman gays" serving in the United States military. They're also buckling like weaklings to the anti-family onslaught.

Sick of all this gays in the military jibber-jabber? Well, rest easy, because the whole controversy has been settled on The Daily Caller. The solution? Lesbians are totally fine in the military, but gay men (hereafter "gays") are absolutely not.

Senate Democrats will keep a "Don't Ask Don't Tell" repeal in the defense authorization bill next month. This is your last chance, gays, and supporters of gays, so consider telephoning your particular plutocrat. Then we can stop talking about this!