Over the summer we told you how fading fuckwad Glenn Beck was fleeing the liberal north to go inhabit his own $20,000-a-month rental Alamo in Dallas. Well, he must feel at home in his new hometown, because now he wants to turn an old megachurch in the Dallas suburbs into the headquarters for GBTV.com—his subscriber-based Internet cry- and clown-porn channel.

Did you hear? Glenn Beck got jumped by a pack of ravenous urban liberals last night! Or did a drunk person just accidentally spill wine on his wife? You be the judge.

Bawling conspiracy theorist Glenn Beck doesn't need Fox News and its Illuminati sympathizers to help him make a living. He can make money just fine by himself, due to the fact that his entire audience is composed of hapless suckers.