You know all those trannies that are "in transition" that like to be called "ze" instead of he or she or whatever? Have you ever typed out "s/he"? Remember all the "womyn" you communed with at college? And obviously "hir," the politically-correct catchall for both "him" and "her," "reek[s] of east-coast liberal elitism." (Does it?) Therefore! The new gender-neutral pronoun is....YO. As in, "Yo was flirting with my boyfriend," instead of "She was flirting with my boyfriend," or the even more popular, "That bitch was flirting with my boyfriend."

Just like that Woodward "Bush at War" volume of the same name, today's Post article "Plan of Attack" promises an inside account of high-level military planning—"sure-fire tactics [to] make a successful Black Friday." It's practically a slam-dunk for a good Christmas season. The insider in this case is Marina Vataj, "a former staffer at a major New York department store," who's "been on the other side of those doors and...picked up all the tricks of the Black Friday trade." Shopper beware, though! Again like with that other thing, this credentialed expert's attack plan might just make EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD HATE YOU.