We've all been there, posing for Good Housekeeping magazine while inhaling the zesty aroma of a pasta dish so succulent that there's a little movement— ooh— aahh— please turn to page 162 for stain removal tips.

Meet Maurizio and Roberto Viel. They are twin brothers who co-own a plastic surgery practice and have performed multiple procedures on one another to increase their resemblance. (Maurizio gave Roberto a nose job; Roberto plumped Maurizio's face.) One surgery they have not performed on each other, however, is their practice's specialty: Penis enlargement.

Yesterday we brought you a C-SPAN prank caller who asked New Hampshire Republican Party Chairman Wayne MacDonald whether Mitt Romney had a large penis (he does). Turns out it was not an isolated incident. Here is a compilation, via Mediaite, of C-SPAN callers—actually one caller, it sounds like—working in references to Mitt Romney's penis over the air. The last one is positively brilliant. Mitt Romney has a huge penis.

No longer content to obsess about the genital structures between your legs, Cosmopolitan magazine has now uncovered an "above-the-waist G-spot" in females, an "eye erection" capacity in males, and a secret penis in the tip of a man's nose. Is this a fetish or something? An evolution of acrotomophilia, perhaps?

Kardashian cast mate Scott Disick is the biggest dick on television. But is his dick big, too? During an interview with xoJane.com, Kourtney referred to her baby daddy's penis as "like an elephant's trunk." Kim and Khloe immediately jumped in with their own lurid descriptions of their sister's partner's phallus. Just normal sister stuff, you know?

The Icelandic Phallological Museum is getting its first real human penis soon, after the death of 95-year-old Pall Arason, a friend of the museum's curator who agreed to donate his well-traveled dick some years ago. From the AP:

Is your vagina feeling sluggish? Maybe it needs a day at the gyno spa. A new trend in vaginal hygiene has arrived in America. It involves the words "pungent steam," "mugwort tea," and "open-seated stool." Meet the vaginal steam bath.

British clothing chain Marks & Spencer has waded into the dong-enhancement game with its new Bodymax line of "frontal enhancement" underwear. They'll make your dick look 38 percent bigger! M&S also offers butt-lifting undies made of "cool, odour resistant fabric."

Much attention has been paid to Mad Men's female actresses' anatomy. But what about the plight of Jon Hamm's penis? The poor man can't afford underpants and is forced to display his genitalia in clingy pants everywhere he goes.

Tutankhamen's penis is missing! Maybe you think it was the victim of a "brutal autopsy"? Or, if you're conspiracy-minded, you think someone removed it because it was "under-developed"? Either way, you're thinking about a mummy's penis. [New Scientist]

Ever hear of phthalates? They are esters that help plasticize things like rain coats and shower curtains, and they make body lotions smell nice. They also may be causing young men to develop in "several ways less completely masculine."

A letter of complaint sent today to NYTimes.com and copied to us:

We realized we'd heard of this product before, the new Philips Bodygroom razor. But we'd never given it much before last night, when we found ourselves standing at a urinal and staring at this ad, which — and apologies for the crappy cameraphone pic — depicts two strategically positioned kiwis, one with its fuzz intact and the other freshly shorn, above the tagline, "Now you can shave wherever you want." We were more than a little bit repulsed. Naturally we were at a bar in Chelsea.

And for some reason we'd always assumed he'd have an impressive package. Must be the 'roids.