[George W. Bush looks a little lost in translation before taking the field to throw the first pitch in a game between the Yomiuri Giants and Nippon Ham Fighters in Tokyo today. Image via Getty]

There may be no new Kennedy Idol after all! Joseph Kennedy II, RFK's son, said he won't run for his late Uncle Ted's Senate seat, which means Massachusetts will not have a Kennedy lawmaker for the first time since 1946.

In 2001, security giant Diebold bought its elections division for $31 million. Today, it sold it to a competitor for $5 million. The company said elections had become a "distraction" and now a sad chapter in democracy has closed. Maybe.

President Obama will take some time off from golfing tomorrow to announce that he wants the Bush-appointed Ben Bernanke, who some say saved our country from absolute economic ruin, to lead the Fed for another term. [NY Times]

Duane Reade is hoping to change your opinion of the crappiest drugstore chain in NYC. For the first time in a long time, the company is about to launch a big brand-advertising campaign as part of an effort to "make New Yorkers think of Duane Reade as the hometown favorite." One little non-hometown detail that probably won't be referenced in the cheeky new campaign: the fact the chain is owned by Oak Hill Capital, which is controlled by Robert M. Bass, a Texas billionaire and one of George Bush's staunchest supporters during his two terms in office. [NYT]

50 Cent turns 34 today. George W. Bush, the 43rd President of the United States, is turning 63. Nancy Reagan is 88. Sylvester Stallone is turning 63. Actor Geoffrey Rush is 58. Former Mets manager Willie Randolph turns 55. Ex-Barneys CEO Howard Socol is 64. Brazilian model Caroline Trentini is turning 22. Robin Antin, the Pussycat Dolls founder and sister of hairstylist Jonathan Antin, is 48. And the Dalai Lama turns 74 today.

Blow a kiss in Adriana Lima's direction. The supermodel turns 28 today. Others celebrating: Yankees star Hideki Matsui is turning 35. Deputy mayor Kevin Sheekey is turning 43. David Rockefeller is 94. Sports Marv Albert is turning 68. Real estate broker Michele Kleier is 66. Hunter College president Jennifer Raab turns 53. Kendra Wilkinson is turning 24. And George H. W. Bush celebrates his 85th birthday today. Weekend birthdays—including those of the Olsen twins and Donald Trump—after the jump.

Former President George H.W. Bush, erection obscured by a bikini-clad "Chorus Line" actress, cackles at those who said "Skydiving for your 80th birthday? You'll never top that!" Catch him in the Lorimer L train station soon. [TMZ] UPDATE: Barbara, too!:

President Change is in London with a bunch of other world leaders at the G20 summit, trying to save the world! A reporter asked him if his meetings represented a "break" from Bush's foreign policy.

You can add The Carlyle Group to the long, long list of financial firms looking to cut back on their private jet budgets. The Washington-based private equity giant that counts members of the Bush family as investors is now looking to unload its 2004 Gulfstream G450. Like its rivals, it's been a challenging few months for Carlyle, which was ranked the largest private equity firm last year by Private Equity International. In December, the firm announced plans to slash 10 percent of its staff—the first layoffs in Carlyle's 20-year history—and it also said it planned to close down its Silicon Valley office. The jet broker responsible for selling the G4 didn't indicate how much Carlyle is hoping to get for the plane. (Similar models run about $30 million.) But if you're in the market for a jet that's made its fair share of trips to Kennebunkport and Crawford, you may want to set aside a little extra to replace all the gaudy gold plating in the bathroom and kitchen. Photos and detailed specs after the jump.

Barack and Michelle Obama are having coffee with George and Laura Bush right now! It's an inaugural tradition — and wouldn't you know that those hick Clintons screwed it up last time?

Only one day left to make symbolic gestures at a lame duck! Echoing an Iraqi journalist who threw shoes at President Bush in Baghdad last month, protesters hurled footwear at Dubya in effigy this afternoon.

Of all the silly (and, at this point, pretty cliche) George W. Bushisms—his malapropisms, his infamous stumbles in syntax—one stands out for me as my absolute favorite. It's a surreal delight:

In YouTube form! Because, that's how we demand things of our leaders these days. Basically people are making mash-ups of the West Wing opening, but with Barack and his cabinet members being featured as cast members rather than Leo, CJ, and the gang. It's such a cute little dream of a wish!

If you're looking for something to keep you occupied at work today, give C. Brian Smith's article about his regular visits to the White House a read. Smith, who became close to Barbara Bush at Yale, was a frequent guest of the Bushes during the early part of his administration. He also has the rare privilege of being able to say he's successfully carried pot into the West Wing, and has witnessed the President fart (although, in typical Bushian fashion, he deflected responsibility and blamed Barney the dog instead. [VF]

Even though Hope came along and was supposed to kill it, negativity still plagues this nation. Take this weekend. Rather than celebrating Barack Obama's Antichrist-like ascendancy, you guys are throwing Bye Bye Bush parties.

• MSNBC is planning to broadcast the inauguration live in 27 movie theaters around the country. The tickets are free; the popcorn and soda are not. [THR]
• The White House has requested 10 to 15 minutes of airtime on Thursday evening so George Bush can give a "farewell address" to the nation. [NYT]
• Chris Rock has signed a book deal with Grand Central Publishing. [PW]
• Is Blake Lively's appearance on the cover of Vogue a bad sign? [NYP]
• Ex-Voice fashion writer Lynn Yaeger will be writing for New York. [NYO]
• Condé Nast has appointed Bill Wackermann to oversee Domino. [MW]
• Comedy Central will begin broadcasting in high definition later this month, just so you can enjoy Carlos Mencia in all his glory. [B&C]

Elisabeth Hasselbeck may be a vocal supporter of the President, but it doesn't appear her 14-month-old son is following in his mom's footsteps. After getting snubbed last month when she was denied an invite to the White House Christmas party, Hasselbeck got a chance to meet the President over the weekend and her son, Taylor, greeted the president by headbutting him. [HuffPo]

President George W. Bush has pardoned Charles Winters for the anachronistic sin of selling arms to Israel. Winters died in 1984. Why did Bush bother?