George Washington, who died 217 years ago of acute laryngitis, will be the first speaker at this year’s Republican National Convention. And as of right now, dead former President George Washington is also the only speaker, according to the official RNC app.
The presidents we celebrate today were very different men. Abraham Lincoln loved to talk and debate and write and read books and be boring. George Washington was quiet and dignified, never wasting words. Abraham Lincoln led the United States into war over slavery. George Washington actually owned slaves. And in finances—the most important aspect of American life—Abraham Lincoln was a loser, while George Washington was the richest president ever.
Meet Lizzie Mae. Lizzie Mae is the personal housemaid to President and Lady Washington — or, what is more commonly known as a slave.
He's our first president, he could not tell a lie, and he's Britain's greatest ever foe. Yes, George Washington has had this dubious honor bestowed on him by the National Army Museum. Washington beat out such notable adversaries as Michael Collins and Napoleon Bonaparte. I guess now would be the appropriate time to start a "U.S.A.!" chant?
Feeling patriotic? Stop drinking that sickening imported swill right now, and brew the most American beer of all time: George Washington's beer, made from a recipe he wrote in his Notebook as a Virginia Colonel.
Quick: What's the best way for a politician to broadcast short, nearly-incomprehensible missives to the world? No, it's not by hacking into Wolf Blitzer's teleprompter before The Situation Room. Twitter! Here are the seven scientifically-determined "Twitter geniuses" of the Senate.
