After all her fun-filled DUIs and failures to properly account for them, we expect nothing but the nastiest quotes to drip from jailbird Michelle Rodriguez's mouth. And most recently, she's directing her curse-filled anger towards we, the media. As the SCRAM bracelet-wearing actress tells Latina, anyone who dares to hypothesize about her sexuality and whether she likes girls or boys is just plain "slime":

Though we certainly feel pangs of sorrow for the impossible-not-to-adore Robert Downey Jr. whenever we read the latest interview with him unloading his thoughts on what it was like to be a druggie, we're wondering if it's possible to publish a story about the guy without it feeling like a public therapy session. As he begins his inevitably long and high-profile series of appearances in the press to push Iron Man, he sat down with normally family-friendly Parade to chat not really about the role or the movie, but about his battle with drugs yet again. But this time, he's dishing on the mythic seven-year relationship he had with multi-tasking celebrity Sarah Jessica Parker:

It seems that when you're a former heartthrob forced to maintain your celebrity status on the likes of Idol-wannabe reality shows, picking up women isn't as easy as flashing your veneers and saying hello. In the case of hamburger abuser David Hasselhoff, he might have been able to score by simply striding up to a group of giggly women and opening with "Hi, I'm The Hoff." But one pesky home video and one bitter divorce battle later, the NY Daily News reports that David's current moves aren't so slick:

A story in Sunday's LAT did the unthinkable by finally pointing out the big Botoxed elephant in the room: no matter how painfully obvious it is to viewers, many stars who get nipped and tucked insist on denying it. But as the Times argues, just how many episodes of this season's Dancing With The Stars or Desperate Housewives can we sit through before drawing our own conclusions? Have you seen Priscilla Presley lately? And if celebrities are going so far as to undergo actual "head transplants," when will they finally start fessing up? We took a look at a few of the stars in question, such as Teri Hatcher and Carrie Fisher, to innocently throw some visual evidence into the mix.

As we've been told time and time again, life often imitates art. And while we'd refrain from calling Gossip Girl "art," Leighton Meester has allegedly been using her on-screen character's controlling and manipulative tendencies behind the scenes as well. Nan Zhang, who played suspected Gossip Girl scribe Jenny, has disappeared from the New York set. Though creator Josh Schwartz is blaming the sole minority character's displacement on Zhang's ridiculous decision to focus on school, those on set are pointing their fingers in Meester's direction:

Of course we always enjoy seeing celebrities abandon their red carpet personas and let loose, but when they start emerging from nightclubs barely standing and sporting lipstick marks on their collarbone, we start to worry. After obediently posing for pictures at last night's premiere of Leatherheads in London, Renee Zellweger dove bob first into the party scene alongside a better-behaved George Clooney. And, as these pictures show, Zellweger may have downed one too many pricey cocktails across the pond.

If film critics are in fact a dying breed, we at Defamer would like to urge them to get on with it. It's a little cruel, we know; some of our best friends are critics, and we'll miss them terribly. But if we have to read another motherfucking article like the one Patrick Goldstein wrote today about the Demise of the Print Film Critic, we'll suck it up, go door-to-door and whack every reviewer we know our own selves just to make it stop.

Defamer bumped into Oscar-winner Errol Morris last night at a special screening of his new film Standard Operating Procedure, a harrowing, exhaustive exploration of the scandal and aftermath of the torture photos taken at Abu Ghraib. After drawing Morris's attention with the tray of delicious hors d'oeuvres we were serving as part of our second job, we managed to corner him into a few quick comments about the prospects for his documentary in an increasingly inhospitable era for movies about the Iraq War.

See Brad Pitt! See Miley Cyrus! See Mariah Carey! Apparently the only thing you can't see at "Idol Gives Back" are last year's accounting records. For the past month, Fox has blasted viewers with constant reminders that last year's American Idol charity show pulled in $76 million. Yet, according to the New York Times, less than half of this money has actually been distributed to the nine charities involved and, "Some $5 million of last year's proceeds and interest remains undistributed."

Not only does Katherine Heigl lack the sensitivity gene when it comes to her marital bliss, but she's also missing a hefty dose of gaydar. Before her Grey's Anatomy co-star T.R. Knight was sweetly outed by since-fired Isaiah Washington, Katie apparently had a big ol' schoolgirl crush on him during the first season. And in standard Heigl fashion, she simply couldn't comprehend why T.R. wasn't showering her with affection after weeks of batting her lashes and sending out ostentatious signals. As The Sun quotes Katie:

As Dolly Parton famously said, "it takes a lot of money to look this cheap." But after learning what Kevin Federline spent most of his money on last year, that catchphrase now has an even more deserving owner. As Us reports, credit card bills recently released by an LA court reveal what K. Fed spends a good chunk of those Britney-given child support payments on: strippers, Las Vegas hotel rooms and plenty of bottle service at flashy nightclubs. The silver lining? When the strippers do their job well, Federline is a generous tipper:

Rumblings from the inner sanctum of the CAA Death Star hint that co-pilots Kevin Huvane and Bryan Lourd are taking an early lunch today to plot an legal attack of wonderfully (if predictably) bloodthirsty ferocity. Their target: Who else? CAA emperor emeritus Michael Ovitz, whose misadventures with Anthony Pellicano upon returning to the agent game almost 10 years ago reportedly involved wiretapping the old joint for a not-so-subtle stab at talent poaching:

Anyone else have one of those crazy uncles who keeps heading to the hair salon for "touch-ups" just to avoid going gray? Well, Ben Stiller has officially become one of those crazy uncles who has hit the Just For Men bottle a bit too hard. Apparently unsatisfied with letting nature take its course, Stiller inexplicably showed up at last night's premiere of The Ruins with a fresh new dye job. After the jump, we track the metamorphosis of his locks from early strays to full on gray to, of course, his new back to black-ish look.

All union strife, supermodel ass-massaging and other gossip aside, a hearty Defamer salute goes out today to Roger Ebert, whose unflappability over more than five years of cancer treatment is reaffirmed by the news he'll resume regular movie reviewing duties later this month. The 65-year-old will host his annual Ebertfest event starting April 23, followed by a return to his Chicago Sun-Times post "shortly thereafter," according to an AP report. Still unclear is Ebert's timetable for rejoining his colleague Richard Roeper on their syndicated review show; he is still unable to speak after three surgeries since 2002. Still, it's refreshing for at least one day to read about a critic coming back to his job for a change. Hats off, Rog. [AP, photo via Getty]

Maybe there's no need to feel sorry for Jennifer Aniston after all. Despite the tear-drenched interviews post-Brangelina, the constant inductions of Chosen Ones, and all the hits and misses when it comes to on-set dating, Jen may not have to spend her spare time on-set chatting up whoever happens to be standing next to her in line at the craft service table. Several reports claim that Orlando Bloom spent his Friday night flirting with Aniston at a party thrown by Hollywood hairdresser to the stars, Ken Paves. But as you might recall, this isn't the first time Orlandiston sparked rumors. Back in October, the pair were spotted in Mexico sharing the same veranda in skimpy swimwear (pictures after the jump)...

Before her marriage to Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes was not considered to be much of a fashion chameleon. Her Dawson's Creek era hairstyle — an unassuming, just-out-of-bed look — matched her sense of style, and there was no reason for her to frequently change her look to keep up with the times. But then came Tom. And Suri. And Posh. And suddenly, Katie's "look" was something to be observed, altering rapidly with each life change, and now, her brand-new page boy cut is a certifiable oddity. We put together a montage of the various styles that Katie has undergone in the last two years; strangely enough, as her hair has gotten shorter and shorter, her transformation has resulted in an eerie resemblance to both Tom's silky cut and little Suri's bob.

The new 90210 has its first cast member, and (yipee!), he's got a blog. Here's what we know so far about 22-year-old Dustin Milligan, who previously played the CW series lottery with a starring role in Runaway:

The film-critic deathwatch we launched here way back in January (and continued yesterday) hit The New York Times this morning, when part-time Oscar gadfly and inveterate media observer David Carr surveyed the carnage from the sidelines. It's not a story we haven't been hearing for years, but Carr's essential access to insiders from Scott Rudin to Michael Lacey — the bloodthirsty boss of the New Times chain currently decimating New York's Village Voice — hints that conventional wisdom among film and publishing types won't be reconciled any time soon:

It's been only five weeks since Jennifer "Don't Call Me J. Lo" Lopez gave birth to twins and, magically, the singing sensation seems to have withered down to her pre-baby weight. Though we have often been mystified by what Jennifer does — particularly by her decision-making process post Wedding Planner in choosing which films to star in — her desire to quickly trim down doesn't surprise us in the slightest. To that end, we compared Lopez's figure from before Marc Anthony worked his magic on her urgent uterus to a photo of her weeks before she popped to her stunning appearance last night at the New York premiere of Shine A Light.

While we're generally for keeping all-around courtroom bore Brad Grey out of Hollywood's legal spotlight in the future, a source tells Defamer that the Paramount boss and his Viacom overlords could face mutiny from hedge-funders unhappy with the way their studio investment is shaking out. Specifically, we hear the money men behind Melrose Partners — which joined the 'Mount in 2004 under the Sherry Lansing/Jonathan Dolgen regime — may take legal action challenging the underperformance of its $231 million equity fund after Grey came aboard in early 2005.