Every single television critic has written their "10 Best of 2011" article and it's all, "Oooh, Breaking Bad." "Let's hear it for Community." "Friday Night Lights should never leave!" "Do you love Louie? I love Louie. You should love LOUIE!" Fuck them! All their damn lists are the same year after year. Here are some of the other things that happened on television when the critics were playing Ookie Cookie with each other.

Have you seen Gigolos? What? You haven't? You really need to check out this Showtime soft-core reality show about a bunch of male prostitutes. It is, simply put, the craziest thing on television.

International playboy, and likely murderer Joran van der Sloot bragged to a Dutch newspaper that women are writing him letters in jail with marriage proposals and asking for his sperm. He also expressed no remorse at Stephany Flores' death.

A new documentary about Bali's legendary beach gigolos, Cowboys in Paradise, led to a crackdown on the sex trade and the arrests of 28 "tanned and muscular men" this week. Lonely, sunburned European women with vacation braids are totally devastated.