The swift collapse of Four Loko's empire now has the backing of White House narcs. Barack Obama's drug czar, Gil Kerlikowske — boo! — supports the FDA's effective ban on these comical caffeine-and-alcohol hybrids. We are the lamest country, ever.

Has the war on drugs failed? Well, drugs still exist, so, yes! U.S. Drug Czar Gil Kerlikowske agrees: "In the grand scheme, [the war on drugs] has not been successful." So, maybe we can stop shooting people's dogs now? [AP]