Look everyone! This guy who is going to be a contestant on upcoming reality show Conveyor Belt of Love was in gay porn! Ugh, this has become so commonplace it's boring. Now these genres go hand in hand.

In this perilous economy, would anyone leave a good living behind to assume a new position as Criss Angel's girlfriend?

Well, this is no way to treat that nice old man who bought you some new knockers! Now that Girl Next Door Kendra Wilkinson has escaped, she's revealing all about Hugh Hefner—and their sex life.

Sure, Kendra Wilkinson's brand of well-endowed spunk might not go over so well with Tom Brady or Hugh Hefner's new, face-kicking twins, but this Girl Next Door alumna only has eyes for the man she's supposedly been seeing since August, football player Hank Baskett. Now, Baskett has popped the question, and only E!'s typically incomprehensible Ted Casablanca has the story of how it went down:

We usually think of bunnies as docile creatures, but there appears to be a pointy-eared showdown going down at Hugh Hefner's Playboy Mansion, where Hef's original Girls Next Door are being phased out for younger, more arrest-prone replacements. Though Hefner insists the split is amicable, founding bunny Kendra Wilkinson (perhaps emboldened by her recent hate-on for Tom Brady) has a different take on the matter, and she seethed on the record to E!.In a video interview conducted at the mansion's Halloween party (and out of sight from her publicist), a visibly tense Wilkinson interrupted one of the reporter's questions to state, "There will only be the original Girls Next Door. We built this show, and we worked our butts off to be here." Then, gritting her teeth, she added, "These girls are coming here afterwards, which I have no problem with, [but] we've made this for them. I would appreciate it if they would be a little more thankful." When pressed further, though, a suddenly circumspect Wilkinson froze and said, "I don't know if I can open my mouth anymore... Shh. It's a secret!" What girl-on-girl rivalries might be existing behind the scenes at the Playboy Mansion? And, most pressingly, do they involve pillow fights? Developing!

Today's wintry economic climate extends to all corners of the industry, including Hugh Hefner's stable of girlfriends, where the market had formerly held stable at a secure "three bunnies." Recently, though, Hef's harem has been rocked by rumors of infidelity, shaking our faith in polygamous monogamy to the very core. Now, Hef's main girl next door Holly Madison — recently linked to oily magician Criss Angel — has confirmed the split rumors that Hefner himself had been denying. Says Us:

As you may have heard, there's some drama brewing in the hills — the Holmby Hills, that is — where veritable antique Hugh Hefner has been holed up in the Playboy mansion with his three The Girls Next Door girlfriends, including reigning hottie Holly Madison. But Holly, who has been Hef's number one squeeze for the past seven years, is finally fed up with Hef - who, unlike all other straight men in Los Angeles, doesn't share Holly's dreams of wedded bliss and babies galore. Shit, she has a better chance of getting preggers swimming in the Grotto than in bed with Hef! Anyway, since domesticated life isn't in the cards, Holly's been cozying up with magician Criss Angel in Vegas - where, true to form, nothing has stayed a secret. Now Hef is threatening that Holly's days of free hair extensions and unlimited edible underwear may be numbered.Clearly, Criss Angel — who has always scored a ridiculous amount of tail for someone who wears guyliner — is one to fawn over. He's got way more going for him than Hef: sperm count, lots of cool tats, and most importantly: magic. But Holly still isn't copping up to her tricks, even after photos surfaced last week of the two canoodling in Sin City. Yesterday on her MySpace, where she suspiciously (guiltily?) lists the magician's A&E's show Mindfreak as her fave television show, she had this to say about her two-timing ways:

In the grainy land of reality show famewhoring, sometimes a pair of boobs will come together and a cable miracle is born. And that’s exactly what happened last night when we saw our maternal icon, Dina Lohan, meet our paternal icon, Hugh Hefner. On the latest edition of television’s most reliable guide to parenting, Dina taught us some highly unique strategies in order to effectively downsize your son’s balls, fake your way to the fountain of youth via Me-Time, and prove to your tweenage daughter just how insanely awesome and superior you are by making her choose between “Mr. Hot” and a career in music best left for those with actual talent. The newest lessons learned from Living Lohan, below:

Sometimes two stories will come along on the very same day and reaffirm one of the oldest Hollywood clichés in history. Namely, that babe magnetism can be yours even if you don't possess looks, charm or gentlemanly ways. Provided, of course, that you have either money or music cred. With that in mind, we'd like to call your attention to two fantasy-worthy catfights brewing today. All kinds of manicured claws are out over the 80-year old borderline polygamist Hugh Hefner and the scraggly rock star Richie Sambora. Why four sets of fake boobs are rubbing up against each other (as Kate Hudson’s baby boy would say) and which contenders are looking like the early “winners” of the ongoing squabbles, after the jump.

We rarely like to take a mental walk down memory lane when it comes to the Most Nauseating Celebrity Hookups of all time, but news of the latest addition has unfortunately led us to revisit the grotesque list. We’ve already seen Liza Minelli and Phantom Of The Plastic Surgery Ward David Gest exchange saliva, Star Jones give Al an awkward lap dance and guiltily pleasured ourselves by witnessing wrinkly charmer Hugh Hefner and his thin lips attach themselves to the Girls Next Door. But after reading about one beach yoga-practicing, SUV-abandoning actor known for generally annoying everyone in Hollywood, and one scratchy-voiced “punk” rock chick known for generally hating everyone in Hollywood playing tongue twister in LA this past Tuesday, we may have a winner. The canoodlers in question, and just how far they went, after the jump:

On last night's episode of Girls Next Door, Hugh Hefner's number two, Bridget Marquardt, devoted her week to getting toy spaniel Wenny a manager. And boy, was it hard! In just under five minutes (roughly the amount of time it takes to get Hef out of the tub), Wenny was signed to do "runway fashion, commercials and feature films." And we're sure the mutt's quick deal had nothing whatsoever to do with greasy-haired "agent" Nick's inability to stop sweating and smiling like a schoolboy in Bridge's buxom presence.

Scribes of dead-tree media, beware! Your days of carelessly printing alleged falsehoods about vestigial celebrities are over. Now, the unfairly maligned can strike back with that mighty tool known as MySpace. Kendra Wilkinson, the "Young Dumb One" from The Girls Next Door (the cringefest where wizened mummy Hugh Hefner oversees his trio of nubile concubines), got a brief mention in a recent Page Six. The small bit simply mentioned a tipster who confirmed the worst-kept secret in Hefnerdom, i.e. that his sweet young things might live in his mansion as part of some commercial arrangement. Today, Kendra respondeth: