Last night President Barack Obama delivered the keynote address at the Human Rights Campaign (HRC)'s National Dinner in Washington, DC, and spent much of his time at the podium raving about his meal. "The dinner rolls were absolutely divine," he said. "The little potatoes—well, I need to get that seasoning recipe before I leave here tonight. And the peas and carrots had the perfect amount of butter on them. I remember when I was really little, like maybe five or six, my mother used to drop a whole inch-thick cube of butter on my peas and carrots, which turned them into a fattening, greasy soup. I always told her, 'Ma,' I said, 'if you want me to eat my vegetables, you gotta lighten up on the Land o'Lakes. My arteries, man.' But she never acknowledged my simple requests, and now I bear the emotional scars of feeling invisible during my formative years."