Every economic apocalypse needs a good crypto-fascist representative of the working man to drum up popular outrage. Last time around, it was Father Charles Coughlin. Who's going to answer the call now?
Jim Cramer has a reason to be even more manic today: It's his 54th birthday. Recent Fox News arrival Glenn Beck is 44. Disney CEO Bob Iger is turning 58. This Week's George Stephanopoulos is 48. So is Alexander Payne, the filmmaker behind Election and Sideways. Restaurateur Elaine Kaufman is 80. Musical legend Roberta Flack is 72. Laura Dern turns 42. Actress Elizabeth Banks is 35. Robert Wagner is 79. Tween star Emma Roberts is turning 18. And swimming legend Mark Spitz is celebrating his 59th birthday today.
In your Thursday media column: Foreign correspondents are anachronized, jobs are vaporized, and the Obamanaguration will not be televised. (Yes it will):
♦ It's confirmed: Sarah Palin will appear on Saturday Night Live tomorrow. [NYDN]
♦ Yet another tragic consequence of the economic meltdown: Suze Orman is making money off the crisis with big-money endorsement deals. [WSJ]
♦ Playboy is cutting costs. How? With energy-efficient lightbulbs, naturally. [WWD]
♦ The Grammy nominations—not the actual awards, mind you—will be a TV special. [NYT]
♦ A hiring freeze is now in place at Condé Nast. [NYP]
Last week brought the appalling news that pill-popping professional idiot Rush Limbaugh signed an eight-year, $400 million contract with Premiere Radio Networks. He'll now collect $38 million a year, which he'll probably direct to some of the passions detailed in a NYT Magazine profile of Limbaugh this past weekend, like La Flor Dominicana Double Ligero Chisel cigars, private jets (he just purchased a Gulfstream G550) and life-size oil paintings of himself. (The deal also provided him with a $100 million signing bonus.) But what about the rest of the news media heavyweights—how much coin are they taking home annually? The salaries of America's most beloved anchors and blowhards of various political persuasions after the jump.
Some conservative pundits are, all of a sudden, understandably pissed at Democrat Al Gore for — well, maybe for not winning the White House for the liberals eight years ago or something? Or because they are jealous of Gore's Nobel Peace Prize, Oscar, and Emmy. Or maybe because they think Barack Obama will give Gore the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to someday become vice president. Anyway, Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia just told Britain's Telegraph that Gore was a big baby who should have taken his unfair 2000 presidential defeat in stride like a real man, such as Richard Nixon. Since he had to wuss out and ask the Supreme Court to intervene, Scalia can't be held responsible for the ruling that ensued. Kind of a weird take from a guy now pimping a book called "The Art of Persuading Judges." But Scalia is not the only right-winger trashing Gore in the media lately. Here's an amazing, month-old clip in which Gore is accused of crushing the hopes of a Holocaust hero:
In the attached clip, CNN shouting head Glenn Beck creeps out charming GOP strategist Amy Holmes (seriously, we love her!) while ostensibly discussing Ted Kennedy's endorsement of change-monger Barack Obama. His opening question: "You ever just pictured Ted Kennedy naked?" Sometimes, Beck explains, "that picture with him with his shirt off just kind of pops into your head." Sure, Glenn. Percocet withdrawal can be rough. [MediaMatters]
Glenn Beck's recent tragic ordeal—he was treated like a commoner at a hospital rich people go to!—was a stunning wake-up call for the entire nation. Beck, despite hurting a whole lot, was made to wait in the emergency room for 40 minutes. He even cried! "The video," CNN insists, "brings to mind the case of Edith Rodriguez. Last year, she was on the floor of a Los Angeles hospital emergency room vomiting blood, and witnesses say no one did anything to help her. Her boyfriend actually called 911, which refused to help since she was already in a hospital. Rodriguez died in the emergency room." Ye gods, Beck could've died in that emergency room. Died of hemorrhoids, right there on the floor. [CNN]
Glenn Beck, noted health care reform advocate, was just on CNN chatting with Wolf Blitzer about how to fix American Medicine. Beck—who became an advocate for reform after he had a shitty hospital visit where they pumped him full of an unbelievably awesome-sounding cocktail of expensive drugs—says the candidates who'll best fix the whole mess are Mitt Romney and Rudy Giuliani. Because they'll "privatize" it. Is he still on the Percocet? The on-screen segment chyron: "WHY HEALTH CARE MATTERS." Hint: IT'S NOT LUPUS. [Previously]
Ha. After everyone on the internet watched Glenn Beck's nutty, rambling YouTube video about his mysterious surgery, we all forgot to watch his damn show on Monday. Turns out it was hemorrhoid surgery. Or as Beck referred to it, "ass surgery." The drug cocktail that sent his mind into the heart of darkness? Morphine, Toradol, Fentanyl patches, Percocet every three hours, and a synthetic morphine drip. Which explains the YouTube clip, sort of, but certainly not his outrage. Where is this hospital, in a William Burroughs novel? [HuffPo]
CNN shouting-head Glenn Beck had mysterious surgery that went terribly awry and now he hates the American health care system. We have no clue what the surgery was for (anyone?), but things went bad. At a hospital that the President of GE goes to! We wish him a speedy recovery, obv, and are excited to see what his righteous, Raymond Chandlerian doctor-hatred will bring forth when he returns to the air. Also we are very seriously (or perhaps ghoulishly) curious as to what the hell this is all about. [TVNewser]
Us Weekly's Dina Sansing stopped by righty yakker Glenn Beck's program to discuss that gal from "American Idol" who has all those racy pictures floating around (hey, it's a living). Dina's apparently not used to the hard-hitting questions that Glenn puts to his attractive guests; what results is some of the most uncomfortable dead air we've seen in ages. At least O'Reilly would have the good grace to proposition the talent off-camera. [Update: And this clip has apparently added Glenn to Keith Olbermann's list of worst people in the world, a list to which, strangely, Olbermann still has not yet added himself.]
