Grandmothers truly are angels among us: cast out of heaven by God for unspecified crimes, forced to be on their best behavior at all times so that when He calls them back to Paradise to reevaluate the terms of their exile, they can be readmitted without issue, and forget all about their difficult lives on earth. Grandmothers have the wit of Dorothy Parker, the fashion sense of Coco Chanel, and the personality of bae. The only thing they love more than their grandchildren is feeding their grandchildren.

Americans, who—in general—are not scientists, or even very literate, are nevertheless convinced that they must eat "gluten-free" food in order to, uh, [something about health]. Spoiler: if you think this, you are probably wrong!

It's become trendy to maintain a gluten-free diet, even for people without allergies, but it's apparently not as trendy to have any idea what gluten is.

The food industry has a generally glum outlook for sales in the coming year. But there is a bright spot: the portion of Americans buying gluten-free food has more than doubled in the past three years. Why?

John and Jane Doe, residents of 123 Main Street, Anytown, USA, are just your perfectly average American consumers: board-certified gastroenterologists, who will only purchase "Gluten-Free" food items, because they have scientifically confirmed their own celiac sensitivity with extensive medical testing.

The Disney Channel just pulled an episode of their show Jessie that makes fun of a child who refuses to eat gluten. In the show, the kid turns down pancakes, and then has pancakes thrown at him while he squeals "gluten!" and scratches his face. One character says to him: "You call me sweetie again, and you'll be eating some gluten-free knuckles."