Chris Christie, the loudmouth prick who was deemed too fat to be vice president, has been re-elected as the governor of New Jersey.

On Thursday, Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott, who is running for governor, asked Facebook for ideas on how to make the state "even better." Although there were a few well-considered, calmly worded answers, most of the responses seemed very, well, Texan. A few categories stood out:

Who would you rather have as a leader: A man who runs into a burning building to rescue a woman, or a man who will put his life in danger to save the seeds in his birdfeeder from a pack of roving bears?

Hopeless romantic Arnold Schwarzenegger is going to release his memoir next October—and according to his publisher, Simon & Schuster, the book is tentatively titled Total Recall: My Unbelievably True Life Story.

The Attorney General released a video today, announcing what everyone has known for a while — that he will seek the governor's office this year. It contained, according to the NYT "New Yorkers of ethnic groups praising Mr. Cuomo." [NYT]

Sheriff Joe Arpaio's "Lock Up All the Mexicans, and Everyone Who Looks Mexican" platform has made him very popular in Maricopa County, Arizona. Now he's raised $2 million and is thinking of running for Governor. Tainted baloney sandwiches for all!

Another Times bombshell! The governor drafted a statement in mid-February saying his violent pal, David Johnson, did not beat up his girlfriend, Sherr-una Booker. Paterson wanted Booker to back this up, but she wanted no part of "a lie." [NYT]

It needed but this. Prince Frederic von Anhalt, who the AP describe as the "lover (never confirmed) of Anna Nicole Smith," and a "self-proclaimed member of European royalty," will try and fill Arnold Schwarzenegger's chair in the upcoming election.

In a Fortune interview, billionaire former eBay CEO Meg Whitman, who hopes to be the next Republican governor of California, shows she has more money than sense, an excellent recipe for entering politics.

Congratulations, rap pioneer Ricky "Slick Rick" Walters! You won't have to spend the summer on one of those sad, gray half-assed "beaches" of your native England, because the Governor of New York has granted you a full, unconditional pardon for your 1991 attempted murder conviction! "Walters, 43, has been under threat of being sent back to his native United Kingdom, although he has lived in the United States since he was a child. In a statement, he expressed gratitude to Paterson and his lawyers, and hoped that he could finally put the turmoil behind him. 'This has been a long and difficult road and I am happy for this to be settled once and for all," Walters said. "I look forward to enjoying this time with my family and friends and to continue leading an honest and productive life.'"