As the nation awoke to news that Osama bin Laden had finally faced justice, grateful Americans streamed to the Dallas home of former president George W. Bush to say: "Thanks, Mr. President, for killing Osama bin Laden."

Baby radiation! Benadryl doom! AIDS pill! Boomer sex! Large 'n lovely! Birth defects! Attitude gratitude! Youth strength! Salt intake! It's your Tuesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—with unrestrained glee, and that's not a teevee show!

The Way We Live Now: short. And sweet? Well, one out of two ain't bad. Who wants to dwell on economic troubles longer than necessary when it's time to leave work and wish you had the money for a vacation?

The Way We Live Now: Quantifordably. We don't actually need to change our current situation; we simply need to become more satisfied with it. For what is money but a number? And what is a number but...magic? I don't know.

Gifted with sleight of hand from his mother and what appears to be cake-carving skills and a love of spinach from his father, Glenn Beck used his powers to work in radio and later on in television.