Well, isn't this how it always happens. Just as we were finished up the third draft of Queen and Country, our adaptation of the mysterious stabbing death of maybe-gay MI6 agent Gareth Williams, it turns out he probably wasn't murdered by a gay lover and stuffed and locked inside a duffle bag as part of an elaborate sex game! The new theory, the Daily Mail reports, or, really, posits, is that Williams was killed by the Russian mafia, on whom he may have been spying as part of a top-secret mission concerning money laundering.

Six armed Western men, possibly British special forces, were caught on tape by Al Jazeera, seemingly corroborating rumors that SAS soldiers are on the ground in Libya acting as spotters for NATO air strikes. The presence of Western troops is... well, the Guardian calls it a "sensitive" subject, because the UN resolution authorizing air strikes explicitly forbids a "foreign occupation force of any form." As far as the British government is concerned, they don't exist: "We don't have any forces out there," the Ministry of Defense says.

Tragically lucky British man Lee Knight's first wife tried to kill him by putting antifreeze in his curry. Knight's soon-to-be second wife took care of him after the poisoning. It's karma in action, with a dash of trading up!

For the life of us, we can't figure out why Shawn Murtagh wants to unstick the miniature bowler hat he has Super Glued to his scalp, but he does, and isn't he lucky he lives in the United Kingdom where he is guaranteed free health care, even for silly afflictions. [The Hairpin]

The Queen Mother's private record collection has been released! (You were, no doubt, awaiting this moment with bated breath.) She was, unsurprisingly, a big fan of musicals (The King and I and Oklahoma!), as well as, apparently, ska:

New research by a team of American doctors indicates that people living in England are healthier than people living in the United States. And no one knows why!

Is there any better kind of government file than a government UFO file? (No, there is not.) The U.K. just dumped its largest-ever cache of UFO files, and there is some pretty great stuff in there. Such as these letters, wherein a former Ministry of Defense employee writes from Sri Lanka of a "partial aura" and "a ring like a doughnut," providing along with his or her letter two pictures of this unidentified object. And yet, his case handler is less than moved: "Defence of Sri Lankan airspace is clearly a matter for the Sri Lankan Government and you may wish to pursue your enquiries with them." The MoD can be so bitchy!

A London ice cream parlor called "Icecreamists" has introduced a "pure, organic, free-range and totally natural" new flavor: Breast milk. Well, actually, the flavor is a kind of lemon-vanilla, but the cream is made from breast milk. Human breast milk!

A 25-year-old parliamentary aide was arrested by British authorities on Thursday, and currently faces deportation. For spying! Yes, only a few months after it was cool to have a sexy Russian sleeper agent, the U.K. finally gets their own.

Cardinal Walter Kasper, who helped plan Pope Benedict XVI's visit to England, will no longer be accompanying the Pope on his journey, "for health reasons." Certainly not because he just gave an interview comparing Britain to a "third world country."

You know how you always make fun of those people at the beach with the metal detectors? Maybe you shouldn't: A British "metal detector enthusiast" just uncovered a rare Roman bronze helmet expected to earn some $462,000 at auction.

[A costumed reveller performs in the Notting Hill Carnival in London, the largest festival of its kind in Europe. Pic via AP.]

The ten funniest jokes of the famous Edinburgh Fringe—a huge performing arts festival held in Scotland—have been named! And they are hilarious. But will you "get" them? No worries! We've provided helpful explanations right here.

[A giant maze opened in London's Trafalgar Square today to encourage visitors to "get lost" in the West End. If only there was a superlative adjective that lent itself to puns involving the word "maze"! Pic via Getty.]

This is Paul Yarrow, a community worker from South London. Do you recognize him? That may be because he's appeared on at least 20 different British news broadcasts over the last few months. In the background.

The Queen of England—well, technically, The British Monarchy—now has a Flickr account. (It's got photo sets organized by royal, in case there's one you're particularly interested in.) And, yes, there's a Twitter account too. Next up: hipstercorgis.tumblr.com. [Flickr]

[Rain clouds loom over a holiday cottage in the north of England, which has been suffering from heavy rain and flash floods. Pic via Getty]

A group of British archeologists has discovered a neolithic henge at the site of the famous Stonehenge monument. What, you mean you don't know what a "henge" is?

Freshman MP Mark Reckless had a little too much to drink while waiting for a late-night vote on the budget. At least he realized he was too drunk, and didn't start proposing wacky amendments like "free breast implants for all."

[A man walks beneath a pterosaur model set up at England's Royal Society in honor of its Summer Exhibition. Pterosaurs were fearsome winged reptiles—not dinosaurs. Click through to see the creepy beasts from below. Pic via Getty.]