If you didn't get to experience the Sarah Lacy-Mark Zuckerberg keynote travesty firsthand — or just want to relive it — here's a short clip of the interview. I've cut it down to Lacy's most awkward moment, when Zuckerberg tells her she has to ask him a question before he'll respond. Watch the clip and you'll see that clearly, Lacy should have talked less and listened more. But doesn't Zuck remind you of an android from the future still learning the nuances of human conversation?

This clip from SXSW Sunday afternoon goes as far as the point where BusinessWeek columnist Sarah Lacy prods Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg with a "Lesley Stahl moment," whatever that is. Zuck's reply, "You have to ask a question," brings down the house. (Video by Austin American-Statesman reporter Omar Gallaga)

• Facebook now available in French.

"Stop Sarah Lacy before she kills again," pleaded MIT Technology Review editor Jason Pontin from his seat as BusinessWeek columnist Sarah Lacy interviewed Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg at SXSW in Austin. "This interview is remarkably like an uncomfortable date." CNET's Daniel Terdiman posts a gleeful recap of Lacy's hecklers and adds: "From the beginning of her interview with Zuckerberg, she repeatedly interrupted him." Lacy's response: "Screw all you guys."

Kind words are few and far between when it comes to Sarah Lacy's keynote interview with Mark Zuckerberg earlier today at the South by Southwest conference. The dozens and dozens of negative tweets started coming in shortly after the keynote started, and have only gotten harsher since then. Here's a selection:

"Are you a man" — hand chop left — "or a woman?" — hand chop right, asks a Nightline correspondent interviewing Megan Wallent, the Microsoft executive who came out as transgender last fall. "I'm me," Wallent replies. Good answer! But did the Nightline guy really need 15 seconds to spit out the question?

The human middle manager behind Google News, which happily crawls gossipmongers TMZ.com and Defamer Australia, still refuses to include Drudge Report, Boing Boing, or for that matter us in the index. (I'm pretty sure I have his name, but not sure enough to run it.) The issue isn't original content. "Definitely some of the blogs they include scrape our stuff, repost our stuff," Boing Boing editor Xeni Jardin emailed me. And Google News does include Slashdot, which is almost entirely reposts from other sites. To be clear: Leave us out. It's good for our brand. But for God's sake if you're going to shove WebProNews at everyone, make up for it with some Daring Fireball.

Are you an investigative journalist? Here's a cheat sheet, with sources: The single worst charge against Wikipedia chair emeritus Jimmy Wales is that he erased a $5,000 donor's embarrassing page history, an act akin to shredding a dossier or spiking a feature story. This allegation allegedly (pardon my reporter-speak) comes from the donor himself, former Novell chief scientist Jeff V. Merkey. Wikipedia's own records show that Merkey donated, and that Wikipedia editors complained when Wales scrubbed Merkey's page completely. Why is this worse than Wales editing his girlfriend's page? If you're a gumshoe reporter, you get it already.

From October 2003 through July 2004, Steve Jobs hid the fact that he'd been diagnosed with a form of pancreatic cancer, according to a profile of Jobs in an upcoming issue of Fortune, now posted online. A serious charge: Jobs should have promptly disclosed his health scare to Apple shareholders, since he seems practically irreplaceable as Apple's CEO. (Only now is he admitting to thinking about a successor.) But Jobs's cancer scare is old news to most readers. Why is Fortune bringing it up now?

115,000 copies of San Francisco magazine, on newsstands throughout the city, name Marissa Mayer as Google's "Googirl."

Philippe Dauman Jr., the Google-working, startup-launching, party-throwing son of Viacom CEO Philippe Dauman Sr., apparently has taken his dad's job, according to Silicon Alley Insider. Exciting! Congratulations, Philippe! I bet this means the $1 billion YouTube lawsuit will be dropped soon.

I tried not to go there, really I did: San Francisco magazine's profile of Google cupcake princess Marissa Mayer is titled "Googirl". I'm guessing they didn't actually Google "googirl" before publishing. But if Marissa really is Google's googirl? You go, girl.

An investigative reporter at the Chronicle reports that Burmese pythons could slither their way from Florida to the Bay Area in just 12 years. The 250-pound, alligator-swallowing snakes find our climate congenial, and could arrive sooner if introduced here by irresponsible pet owners. What the Chronicle missed: Unlike other cold-blooded threats to our way of life, Burmese pythons won't drive up rents.

AMD is inviting journalists to a cocktail reception on Monday, February 25. I stopped reading the invitation at "no news will be discussed." The depressing thing? These wine-and-dine schemes actually work most of the time. Not because the tech press corps is swayed by free booze, but because most reporters are lazy. Proximity to power is more intoxicating than alcohol. Even if there's "no news," you can bet at least a few can be counted on to transcribe whatever the chipmaker's executives tell them. We'll pass on the party, but you can bet we'll be searching Google News for the obligatory stories about AMD's comeback against Intel the next morning. The invitation:

"Google is different, even on a list of distinctive companies," an article from the March issue of Fast Company begins. It goes on:

Harper's Magazine has this to report: Google's motto may be "Don't be evil," but the profitmongers in fact are evil. Why? Google's plan to build a massive datacenter complex in Oregon "has triggered an arms race" that has lead Microsoft and Yahoo to build their own gargantuan server farms. These server farms, Harper's warns, will combine to draw more than "90 megawatts of electricity — more than the World Trade Center humming at peak power on a hot summer day." For this reason, Harper's opines, Google's "motto is perhaps due for an addendum: 'Lead others not into temptation.'" Oh, that's what happened with the WTC. I always wondered.

To celebrate the return of the beard (I know), the Chicago Tribune interviewed the sketchiest bearded men they could find. "Meeting people and rubbing your fuzzies on them is an extra hello," according to one guy with a half-grown-in beard who'd just finished plucking phone numbers from a Help Wanted board. During the entire interview, the cameras center on the beards, presumably to protect the men's identities while the child molestation charges blow over. That cinematography choice takes this two-minute clip (shown below) from dumb to priceless.

Old Media is dead! Today CNN officially launched iReport, the first citizen media site other than Current, NowPublic, Newsvine, and other ones that don't matter. But CNN's making a good run for not mattering either. See, some reports on the site, which has the tagline "Unedited. Unfiltered. News," get edited and filtered and put on TV. What made the cut? Teenage book reports and disaster porn. I'd put an example below, but CNN failed to learn from the one thing YouTube does right and let people embed videos on other sites. A real shame, because they'll miss out on all this news:

"TMZ seemed to be straining to find material" when it posted video of Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg last week, the New York Times reports today. A week later. Then reporter Maria Aspan cites a Valleywag commenter at the end of the article. Clearly, we're witnessing the decline the of an old media dino — Wait. The New York Times quoted a Valleywag commenter? OMFG! JediTilo, you got quoted in the freaking New York Times. Count me impressed. Me and your mom.

In-the-know journalists like to tell readers that the Microsoft-Yahoo merger has been plotted out in advance. "Microsoft executives have followed a carefully crafted script to woo Yahoo's board and management," writes the Wall Street Journal. "Yahoo's directors must follow closely a long-established script," a story on CNNMoney informs us. The notion of a script — understood by elite reporters and insiders who graciously expatiate it to their eager readers — is appealing. But as the writers' strike proved to us, we live in an unscripted era. The Microsoft-Yahoo deal is M&A in the age of reality TV.