Even all of your favorite bloggers have taken sweet, sweet Sulzberger severance deals and will no longer be working after 6pm today. Luckily fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was skulking around looking for something to do. She had quite the week!

We all got a kick out of the arrest of the Missouri GOP ex-pol for roughing up a sex partner because she forgot the safeword: "Green balloons." The police report is out, and it looks like a straight-up, horrific rape.

Former Missouri Speaker of the House and opponent of "deviate sexual intercourse" Rod Jetton is facing felony charges for an S&M session gone horribly wrong, because a drunk lady never said "green balloons," allegedly.