The resilient, rough chuckles-enduring people of Detroit put up with dog poop air, crime-ring moms, crime-ring stray dogs, fake Koch evictions, and 1,001 other ills. But they refuse to sit through a Nickelback half-time show during this Thanksgiving's Lions-Packers game. Uninspired Canadian crap rock is where they draw the line.

Do you or someone you love suffer from "E-Hoarding?" No, because it is a disease made up by a Florida news station desperately grasping for something to put in front of their reality-TV-addled viewers faces. (Aren't there any horrific sex crimes down there you guys should be covering?)

The Green Bay Packers have won the Superbowl! They beat the Steelers 31-25, but the real loser is anyone who saw those Pepsi Max ads.

Super Bowl XLV is officially underway! Just moments ago, Christina Aguilera graced our television sets with her run-heavy rendition of the national anthem. One problem: she sang the wrong lyrics! In front of hundreds of millions of people. Uh, yikes?

Some scoffed when Brett Favre again came out of retirement and signed with the Minnesota Vikings. Now Favre's having the last laugh. With tonight's win against his old team, the Packers, Favre's now defeated every NFL team. Collective crush, commence.