Fox News' "Red Eye" host Greg Gutfeld consents to a rare interview today, and has some words of wisdom for the masses: "For anyone under the age of 30, absolute truth has lost to relativism—and now it's entirely inappropriate to judge any behavior, unless you yourself have done it at least three times. You work out don't you? The best thing for your workouts? Sports massage. I have a table." Noted: WOW we cannot believe that show is still on the air. [Gothamist]
As regular readers know, Greg Gutfeld's taxing schedule at the Fox News channel show that launched the Julia Allison slutternaut into the stratosphere has caused him to develop "tits. Fucking tits," and to have "completely stopped exercising." But it wasn't always so. Feast your eyeballs on Young Greg in all his glory. And then, you know, bathe.
After a brief, worrisome ban—imagined, mostly—from "Red Eye," Fox News' late night suicide inducer, Julia Allison was welcomed back to their set last night. Either her fulsome apology for loudmouthing about the show to the New York Observer made everything okay or Red Eye "host" Greg Gutfeld was worried about negative publicity. Or, you know, they needed to fill the seat with someone carrying boobs.
Because the show is so loose, and because we have such a media-watchdog culture—they could get burned like that. Two words: Don. Imus. You don't know what's going to piss people off. And, my God, the shit that we get into—the sex, the bestiality—holy crap! I can't believe that shit is on Fox News!
Will "Red Eye," the Fox News' over-the-counter late-night sleep aid, be a success?
Never let it be said that MSNBC's Keith Olbermann is myopic. The anchor of Countdown just sprung for a 4.2 million dollar condo at 200 E. 69th St, a hulking Trump tower, says the Observer. Whilst padding about in his Missioni housecoat through his five 40th-floor rooms, Olbermann will enjoy 360 degree views. The same can't be said for Fox News's late-night host Greg Gutfeld, who recently bought a coop in a tiny 5-story building on W. 49th Street for an infinitesimal fraction of the price of Olbermann's condo. But what his apartment lacks in size is made up for with convenience—News Corp is located just around the corner on 48th and 6th, close enough to stumble home from after another soul-crushing night of broadcasting to stoners. Take that, Olbermann! —Josh
We're a little bit on edge about today's Supreme Court decision upholding the ban on dilation and extraction—or, as it has become commonly known, partial-birth abortion—but we know that laughter is the only way to heal the hurt. Or at least, partial laughter. To that end, we looked to the Fox News Red Eye host and humanitarian Greg Gutfeld, whose look at the lighter side of abortion has given us so many chuckles over the years. Some of Greg's jokes needed a few tweaks for relevance, but we think you'll find yourself having a few yuks either way! Or not—it's your choice. For now.
We're so fond of our friends over at "Red Eye" that we had Gawker video boy Richard Blakeley put together a quick compilation of some of their greatest hits. Watch and learn how this crew of camera-ready professionals has become the only Fox News program to have as many articles written about it as it does viewers!
Good news for folks who want to relax while they're coming down from the meth rush and have exhausted all other opportunities. A judge has denied Tribune's request for a preliminary injunction against "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld," the 2 a.m. Fox News chat show where anyone can be a guest. (Seriously, just e-mail Gutfeld, he's totally up for it.) Tribune claims that the show's title is too close to the free tabloid the company distributes in Chicago, but a U.S. District judge dismissed the claim, noting that while the newspaper is written for mouth-breathers, the television program is aimed at imbeciles, and the groups are unlikely to confuse the two. However, the issue will still go to trial in August. Memo to Greg: Don't go tossing those "Let's Get Stalky With Rachel Marsden" title cards just yet. Also, my super wants me to tell you that he can't tape on Thursday, but any other night next week is fine.
• Felix Dennis will never see a broad as costly as a tree. Also, it takes a lot of dosh to get people drunk enough to listen to your doggerel. [Radar]
• On the other hand, anyone who calls Greg Gutfeld "Darth Vader," must have his finger on some kind of pulse. And, look forward to The Week on the web. [Independent UK]
• Judy McGrath is going to be just fine, thank you very much. Buying MySpace is not the be all and end all of running a media empire. Unless, uh, you're Tom Freston. [NYT]
• ABC News reports news that ABC Newsman considers Matt Drudge the Walter Cronkite of our era, excepting for that fact that Walter Cronkite never falsely accused a presidential aide of wife-beating. [ABC News]
• Bob Woodward saves the good stuff for himself and other newspapers who are willing to buy his book in advance of their sell-dates. [NYT]
• Yahoo! not sexy enough for investors, apparently. [NYP]
• Something is happening to press freedom in Canada. We'd be all up in arms if it weren't, you know, Canada. [NYT]
• Former Maxim UK editor and HuffPo devilkin Greg Gutfeld hits fashion week; misses Tuleh, but looks fabulous nonetheless. [Radar]
• Meanwhile, when the fashion establishment acknowledges bloggers and lets the pasty kids into the tents, it's good for the internerds — but with every blog post, the allure of the chic plummets. Who wants to wear a label that's accessible, for chrissakes?! [WSJ]
• An insider on the Today show's new set, to be unveiled tomorrow: "It reminded me of the Fortress of Solitude from Superman." [TVNewser]
• Describing Demi Moore with her "legs spread like Liza doing a Fosse work-out" is a really disgusting choice of words, timing-wise. [National Post]
• Living in a post-Crocodile Hunter world means STINGRAY RAGE. No, seriously. [Times UK]
• Johnnie Walker advertises in Beirut, but they really could've taken it a bit further and articulated the point. [Animal]
• Anna Nicole Smith's son seems to have died of unnatural causes. We'll keep the inappropriate jokes about Trimspa to ourselves, thanks. [TMZ]
• You've always known that celebrities are more narcissitic than the average American, but now there's scientific proof. [LAT]
"Why don't my Huffington Post blog commenters understand me? I just want to be loved. Loved hard. Hard and rough."
• We really ARE overdue for a George Michael assfucking scandal, aren't we? Don't worry, it's about to get much better: the former pop star was caught having a "seedy liason" in a public park with the hot piece of twat pictured at right. 58-year-old unemployed van drivers who live with their cat sure are irresistible, aren't they? [Sun UK]
• Tomorrow Russell Simmons will be named a U.N. Goodwill Ambassador, putting him on the well-worn path to becoming Angelina Jolie. Perhaps he's splitting with Kimora over whether or not to adopt an Ethiopian AIDS orphan. [FishbowlNY]
• You know what's wrong with magazine publishing? The people who are running it, specifically those at the Magazine Publisher's Association who believe a mascot named Captain Read is going to do a goddamned thing other than inspire mockery and ensure irrelevancy. [AdAge]
• Though we wouldn't put it past Simon Dumenco to hook up with Cap'n Read. [AdAge]
• Conde Nast will master these internets yet, even if it means going the route of incredibly boring trade sites. [Craigslist]
• Is somene pushing a Times-ian frenzy surrounding the raising admission fee for the Met? At the current rate, they'll churn out 60 pieces by November, which will almost be enough to satisfy Bill Keller. [Seth Mnookin]
• It doesn't matter how fantastic a "trailer" for a book may be, because it'll never half as good as the trailer for Snakes on a Plane. That's just a fact. [Guardian]
• Greg Gutfeld's still life with Arianna Huffington. [HuffPo]
• Dallas Mavericks bloggy freakshow Mark Cuban has an open job offer for anyone who can think of a new way to market movies. On the downside, you'll be working for Mark Cuban. [Blog Maverick]
• Who Wore It Best? — crotchety Sun Valley mogul edition! [WSJ]
• Why does the Regal Union Square movie theater smell like Chinatown on a simmering July afternoon? [Cinecultist]
• People mag has a major opportunity for you, cash-throwing advertiser — placement of your ad space near Shiloh. Dodge takes the bait. Is there anything that baby can't sell? [LeftLane]
• Without Pete Doherty, would the British press simply cease to exist? Every single day, the crackhead inspires a new, stupid story. Today, he's found Jesus. Tomorrow, he'll have found another rusty syringe. [FF]
• Just another reason to loathe Bill O'Reilly, courtesy of his 10-room Manhasset estate. [Cryptome]
• A Suicide Girl attempts to spend 7 days straight in the Fifth Avenue Apple Store (open 24 hours). If David Blaine had any thunder, this might steal some of it. [SuicideGirls]
• It's kind of sad when construction workers would rather read the WSJ than ogle your ass. [Things That Make You Go Hmmm]
• Marc Jacobs dumps his boyfriend; not even the twink's Marc Jacobs tattoo could lube the relationship. [Towleroad]
• Way up at 158th Street rests Safety City, "a special place to how to cross streets, drive bicycles, and ride in cars safely." [Amish in the City]
• An extra to-do for you tonight: John Mayer will be testing his skills at the Comedy Cellar at 11 PM. His comedy skills, that is. Panty-throwing still appropriate. [BWE]
• Eva Longoria is determined to prove that she can be just as annoying through the written word, thus her forthcoming erotic novel, to be ghostwritten by the editors of Maxim. [BookStandard]
• In their defense, only porn is going to distract Katrina victims from their problems. [CNN]
• From the creators of the Greg Gutfeld Show comes Keira Knightley's Jaw, a blog documenting exactly that. Better than Keira Knightley's Pout, which just makes you want to punch things. [Keira Knightley's Jaw]
• Times Baghdad bureau likes 'em young; Times Mag editor Gerry Marzorati likes 'em late-30-something and in business. [NYO]
• And James Wolcott likes 'em monocled and on a compiliation DVD set. [New Criterion]
• Seth Mnookin says Da Vinci Code author Dan Brown is a plagiarist, if not necessarily by the legal definition. Brown says Mnookin is a pain in his ass, if not necessarily by the legal definition. [NYT]
• Huffington Post launches a media blog, "Eat the Press." Clever, eh? [HuffPost]
• Laddie McLadlad Greg Gutfeld also launches a blog, "The Daily Gut." Clever, eh? [Jossip]
• Is this man the Julio who Anderson Cooper keeps so very near and dear to his heart/pants? We can't confirm, but he certainly looks tailored to Anderson's rumored tastes. And he's only 25, which means he's obedient. [Eff Anderson]
• If you want to verify the status of his lover, you could just ask Anderson himself: he'll be doing a signing on June 19th at noon at the Shops at Columbus Circle, third floor. Clear your schedules now.
• Rachel Weisz gives birth to a baby boy, and absolutely no one gives a fuck. [Us Weekly]
• Josh Hartnett will give you $500 to use your "funky" LES apartment for a photo shoot. Like you wouldn't just do that for free. [Curbed]
• If Manhattan were Chicago, we'd all be a little more fat. [Kottke]
• And in other LES news, it would seem that Jay McInerney's therapist works dangerously close to Fat Baby. [H&G via Eater]
• As of the time of this posting, Greg Gutfeld is leading the poll for best HuffPo contributor by a single vote. Granted, it's actually the only vote, but he's a winner nonetheless! [BigMediaBlog]
• To celebrate the birth of her first biological daughter, Angelina Jolie's lawyers buy baby Shiloh her very own domain name. Beats a silver Tiffany rattle any day. [Defamer]
• Meanwhile, Angelina gets her own verb. To Jolie: to leave your girlfriend for another woman who was supposedly just your friend. As in, "The fucker Jolie'd me." [ONY]
It's a sad day to be a Briton: BrandRepublic reports that UK Maxim editor and beloved HuffPo pixie Greg Gutfeld is saying farewell to the little boys' club, as his contract is up in May and Dennis Publishing has decided not to renew. Additionally, circulation has dropped 16.2%, due in no small part to the proliferation of weekly lad mags, which are all the hotness in the UK right now. When asked for comment, Gutfeld busted out the Blackberry and told Gawker:
• Martha Stewart disses Donald Trump when discussing her failed version of The Apprentice; the Donald fires back with an open letter promising a world of pain. Battle of the inflated egos; let's get these two behemoths scheduled for a cage match. [Reuters]
• Morrissey used to love Maureen Dowd — until he found out she ate meat. Maybe that's why she's still single. [True to You]
• As far as we know, New York Times bestselling authors don't really troll Craigslist for ghostwriting gigs. Actually, maybe James Frey does. [Craigslist]
• Mag marketing from hell. [Big and Sharp]
• UK Maxim editor Greg Gutfeld introduces the Huffington Post style guide, Aryan Nation edition. [HuffPo]
