Guy Fieri certainly has a lot to be pissed off with his hairdresser about, but it's unclear what exactly prompted the "nuclear fight" that erupted between the two shortly after landing in San Francisco on Saturday.

Last night Gawker received a tip from a person claiming to be friends with the graphic designer allegedly responsible for the Internet's new favorite thing: The fake Guy Fieri menu currently parked at GuysAmericanKitchenAndBar.com.

That Guy Fieri's American Kitchen and Bar is a big joke is no big secret.

New York Times-approved chef Guy Fieri, the mastermind behind culinary innovations such as Donkey Sauce and the no-longer-served (RIP) Nuclear Waste Margarita, is now officially in the wine business. Sometime last year – how the news went so long without being reported is a mystery and, really, an indictment of the food media – Fieri purchased a five acre vineyard of pinot noir grapes in Sonoma County, California.

According to reports, Degrassi graduate Drake hung out with culinary titan Guy Fieri Saturday night. Obviously, this is a big deal. Thankfully, someone took a picture of the historic meeting. As my colleague Max Read wrote, the photograph is "possibly the all-time achievement of the mimetic image." In it, a focused Drake stares intently as he stirs some sort of sauce (marinara? chocolate? donkey sauce?) while a patient, wise-seeming Fieri looks on.

Guy Fieri, better known as Mountain Dew in human form, has recently been trying to save his image in the wake of Pete Wells' damning New York Times review of his Times Square restaurant, Guy's American Kitchen & Bar.

Actually, it's not entirely clear why Bobby Moynihan didn't get to reprise his role as controversial restaurateur Guy Fieri for this past weekend's Saturday Night Live, but thankfully a dress rehearsal recording of Moynihan as Fieri responding to Pete Wells now-legendary takedown of Guy's American Kitchen & Bar has made its way online just in time for your third mid-Monday-morning anything-but-work break.

The New York Times drew first blood in its war against the peroxide hairdo known as Guy Fieri. After Pete Wells wrote his now-viral review of Fieri's Times Square tourist-trap house-of-horrors restaurant, Guy's American Kitchen & Bar, Fieri fired back on national television.

As you are probably aware, New York Times food critic Pete Wells became the most important man in America this week after eviscerating Guy Fieri's Times Square restaurant for essentially being Guy Fieri in building form — a bloated, neon monstrosity serving unappetizing food obnoxiously. Here's the thing, though, about Guy's American Kitchen & Bar, which has now become ground zero for everything wrong or right with capitalism: Fieri serves way more revolting food at one of his other restaurants.

God bless Marilyn Hagerty. The octogenarian North Dakota columnist whose earnest Olive Garden review went viral earlier this year has been far too busy with her own exploits to keep up with the Great New York Times Donkey Sauce boondoggle.

Does the New York Times' contempt for its advertisers know no bounds?

Guy Fieri can't imagine anyone disliking his food, so he's concluded that New York Times restaurant critic Pete Wells' scathing — and scathingly funny — review of his Times Square restaurant must be due to a personal grudge Wells is holding against him.

Did you hear? New York Times restaurant critic Pete Wells reviewed Guy Fieri's new Times Square restaurant, Guy's American Kitchen, and he really hated it. Can you believe that? America's haughtiest paper disliked America's bro-iest chef's new venture in America's crassest den of commercialism outside of Las Vegas. Amazing. And yet—it turns out that other people who have tested Guy's American Kitchen, which opened in mid-September, have actually really enjoyed themselves. Here are 10 of those people (sic throughout):

As you may have heard, noted food expert Guy Fieri opened a restaurant, the appropriately titled Guy's American Kitchen & Bar, in Times Square in September. From other reviews/common sense, we already know it's terrible. Nonetheless, Pete Wells, The New York Times' restaurant critic, decided to review it so we could learn the Times' Official Opinion. Consisting entirely of rhetorical questions directed at Fieri, the review is sort of funny. Here are some of the better lines/questions:

The Food Network's resident lightning strike victim Guy Fieri, host of the popular carb porn show Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives, is, shockingly, a complete jerk. According to one alt weekly anyway.

Getting hungry for dinner? Not anymore! Someone decided to compile the act of Guy Fieri eating, for reasons we still can't comprehend. Inside, this video and one of Saturday Night Live's impressions to help ease the pain.

Last night's Minute to Win It: Miss USA/Universe Edition, was chock-full of sexual innuendo. Besides challenges involving blowing and tissue grabbing, this has to be the most blatant example. Catch the ending where Guy Fieri examines the girls' "pedometers."

The season finale of Minute To Win It teased million-dollar jackpots and lives changed, but it didn't deliver any huge winnings. Even host Guy Fieri let his disappointment show when contestant Scott had trouble with a game.

The head-scratcher Minute To Win It had a special summer episode where they challenged sorority girls with beach-based games. The object here is to make sure the kite never drops, like the hackey sack in She's All That.

Kevin Jonas, aka "The Ugly One" of the Jonas Brothers, was a celebrity contestant on tonight's Minute to Win It. Flanked by his wife (yes, wife), brothers and parents, Jonas competed admirably—and homoerotically. Inside, ~*~fabulous~*~ video highlights. *Snaps*