The seven-year itch has reportedly struck the unusually long and strong union between Madonna and Guy Ritchie, but news of the split isn’t exactly sending anyone into shock. It was only three years ago when Madonna practically divorced her frostylocks husband on television, telling the world in an MTV documentary that she “wanted to end everything,” and that Guy hadn’t lived up to whatever S&M-loving, hotel room-wrecking ideal she’d “imagined him to be.” But we’re not so sure the soft-spoken director of speedy-spoken indie flicks was necessarily the problem child in this couplet. Considering Madonna’s behavior over the past year or so, scented ever so slightly with desperation and Justin Timberlake’s ass cheeks, we came up with three of the most likely reasons we think the love story went sour:
Madonna and Guy Ritchie popped up in quite the most unexpected of places today—touring the slums of Mumbai, where she was "showered with rose and marigold petals," and dangled bottles of antibiotics in front of the locals' faces which she happily turned over just as soon as they signed a document ostensibly converting them for the rest of eternity to Kaballah. [AP]
Briefly enticing the occasional director of hyperkinetic gangster flicks away from the time-consuming responsibility of making sure that his wife's orphan acquisitions aren't repossessed by any disillusioned biological family members while she's out shopping with the promise of some cocktails at the Sunset Marquis bar, the Sunday NY Times spent a fascinating "Night Out With" Madonna househusband Guy Ritchie, an encounter which began with Ritchie demonstrating his martial arts skills to an impressed reporter:
· Just in case you missed yesterday afternoon's reports of the Steve McPherson/Ben Silverman "be a man" feud at the TCAs, here's Var's take on the "clueless or stupid" row. [Variety]
· A planned Heroes video game could hit store shelves by late 2008, satisfying fans' desire to take control of indestructible cheerleaders or strippers who have homicidal reflections. [THR]
· Guy Ritchie, whose film career once seemed entirely swallowed by the demands of being Mr. Madonna (constantly monitoring his wife's eBay orphan auctions is a pretty time-consuming responsibility), signs on to direct an adaptation of his Virgin comic The Gamekeeper for Warner Bros. [Variety]
· Eddie Izzard replaces Jeremy Piven in Weinstein Co. animated movie Igor, though no reason for the switch has been given. But good news: as CAA reps both, the agency will retain its commission. Everyone wins! [THR]
· Iron Man's billionaire industrialist alter-ego will be an Audi enthusiast. Suck it, BMW. And you too, VW.[Variety]
· Howell Raines is getting married. [Page Six]
· Guests at Cabo resort tease Sean Penn about Iraq. [Page Six]
· Amy Sacco is suing her landlord, who she says is trying to evict her so he can triple the rent. [Page Six]
· John Cameron Mitchell is casting for a new movie called "The Sex Film Project" that features actors having actual sex on camera. He's looking for "downtown, bohemian Williamsburg types." [Page Six]
· Condé Nast CEO, Steve Florio, was in a fender bender in the Florida Keys. [Page Six]
· Cindy Adams objects to the construction of a cement plant in upstate New York on the basis that its builders "are not even New Yorkers. Not even Americans." Note to Cindy: neither is half the population of Manhattan. Cindy Adams]
· Liz Smith turns 80. [Liz Smith]
· Prince Bandar bin Sultan bin Abdul Aziz flew Roberta Flack in for his New Year's party; Guy Ritchie's new TV show is cancelled after a cameraman is stabbed; and ex-Bush speechwriter David Frum's new tell-all says the Karl Rove had "the ideas nobody else had" while Karen Hughes had "the same ideas that everybody else had."
