A few weeks ago, Beyoncé's hair got hilariously stuck in a fan while she was attempting to move thousands to tears via an emotional performance of "Halo." Now, perhaps out of a mistaken belief that fans run on Beyoncé hair instead of electricity, Beyoncé has chopped off all her long hair, in an ambitious tactical maneuver designed to starve the world's fans.

When Michelle Obama debuted her bangs last month, America was like, "Ohmygod. Your hair..." and Michelle was like, "I just got it cut! Do you like it?" and America was like, "It's so...bangs," and Michelle was like, "Haha, thanks!"

Wow, LADIES, time for an emergency meeting of the LADIES because there has been a huge development in our sex's perpetual race to/fight against bang adoption: Michelle Obama now has BANGS.