Shit is fucked up.

Approximately 1.3 million unemployed Americans lost their jobless benefits Saturday as the Emergency Unemployment Compensation program expired. "I don't know what we're going to do," said unemployed case manager Richard Mattos, 59, of Salem, Ore. "We could end up homeless because of this."

The most exciting public relations industry development of the day is undoubtedly the official launch of the hottest new PR agency in town: $100 Dollar PR. That is actually the name of the new PR agency: $100 Dollar PR. What's that screaming sound you hear? Oh, it is just the name "$100 Dollar PR" screaming "quality."

The ongoing Minnesota government shutdown is dragging the state into a new phase of No Fun Whatsoever, due to the shuttered state offices and programs that aren't handling day-to-day matters as usual. Do you Minnesotans like to drink beer or smoke cigarettes or not see poopy everywhere? Then for now, at least, you'll have to pack up your bindles and migrate down Iowa-way.

The American Dream is owning your own home. We heard that so many times in the past decade! Remember that? That was before the recession and all. Now, a brutal landmark: all the past decade's home ownership gains are gone.

Girl Scout Cookies are an apt metaphor for our economy: it was working just fine. Then someone got the bright idea to hugely expand it. Then it collapsed. Soon, there will be just six kinds of Girl Scout cookies left.

A sunny reenactment of recent trends in American higher education: due to the recession, enrollment rises. Due to the recession, state funding was down. Federal stimulus funds provide momentary rescue! And now: federal funds end. States are still broke. Urgh.

Wall Street's work has ground to a halt. Employees are huddled around fiery trash barrels, discussing their much-diminished bonus pools. CEOs are ordering lowly executives to keep their money woes quiet. It's worse than we thought: they're getting nothing.

On one hand: Wall Street is back! Morgan Stanley and Bank of America may post their biggest revenues in history this year. But don't be fooled. It's a hard holiday season for the little people. (The bankers.)

The Way We Live Now: riding dirty. Clocking dollars. Unretiring, training for the worst, and calling off Christmas. It's been one of those kinds of eons, hasn't it?

Here is a good, interesting story in the Washington Post about the people who write to Barack Obama, why they write, and the process by which some of their letters reach the president. It is heart-warming and kinda sad, too.

Yale's endowment has recently plummeted to a marginally less insane multiple of billions of dollars. In addition to layoffs and salary freezes, the nobles of New Haven may soon find themselves subjected to an agonizing bout of extreme survival training.

Ladiessssssss: Are you mature? Drama free? Down on your luck? Looking for a beautiful West Village apartment, but only have $275 to pay for rent? Are you willing to share a bed with this dude? Then it's your lucky day.

A cushy country club style prison was not in the cards for Bernie Maddoff, to the delight of just about everyone who hoped his quality of life would take a major nosedive. We've got the details and it's not pretty.

"None of my friends mess with that anymore," a former cokehead banker who's now neither of those things tells Daily Intel. "It's like they grew up overnight when the banks died." Man. That is some powerful shit. Cocaine, we mean.

The trustee for Bernie Madoff's victims filed a $45 million suit against Ruth Madoff last week. He hasn't succeeded in getting any money yet, but he has succeeded in further humiliating Ruth Madoff! She is basically a grounded teenager now.

Lost in the glee over Bernie Madoff's prison sentence is this: What will become of poor Ruth Madoff? She's stalked by paparazzi; rejected by landlords; and left with a mere $2.5 million. Here, Dear Ruth, is your road to redemption.

Journalism. It is not a lucrative profession. Maybe you could be a freelancer though? Easy gigs. Airline magazines! Travel pieces! The sad reality:

The Way We Live Now: Besieged by indignity. H&H Bagels is drowning in debt! Book fairs and organic dairies are threatened! It's a veritable Yupocalypse:

Richard Beckman—formerly head of the Conde Nast Media Group, which handles the company's biggest and most exclusive advertisers—is now the President and C.E.O. of Conde's Fairchild Fashion Group. That's a demotion. Backstory: