How far Aniston has fallen: She might be cougaring with Lohan's sloppy seconds.

Jon Gosselin's gambling at Foxwoods, but it's Robert Pattinson who can't lose. Stephenie Meyer's getting sued, because she's no Astronaut Mya or, uh, Billy Bush. Or Hayden Panettiere's 'Pink Taco' sharing Harry Morton. Visionaries! Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup!

Cameron Diaz and Keanu Reeves are allegedly dating, Spencer Pratt wants to be the next Brad Pitt, Michael Jackson's gay lover speaks, Hayden Panettiere is dating the Pink Taco dude, Lindsay Lohan loses her phone and Penelope Cruz gets thicker.

• Lindsay Lohan left her cell phone at a deli yesterday. When she returned a few minutes later to retrieve it, an employee refused to give it back to her. LiLo wasn't too pleased to hear that, of course. (Let's hope the Italian ice she's holding made up for it.) But most of the time, she only has herself to blame for her troubles. Yesterday she tweeted that she was at a store in SoHo. But then she got annoyed when a gazillion photographers materialized outside a few minutes later. [Sun, P6]
• Salman Rushdie was spotted making out with a hot, young babe at the Inglourious Basterds party at the Standard Grill the other night. [P6]
• Jennifer Aniston supposedly "feels rejected and upset" after Bradley Cooper dropped her and started dating Renee Zellweger. [Us]
• Speaking of Zellweger, she used her appearance on David Letterman's show last night to promote the Blue Parrot, the Mexican restaurant she co-owns with Ron Perelman, Jon Bon Jovi, and Larry Gagosian, among others. [People]

• "Real Housewife" Kelly Killoren Bensimon has deceived us all once again. All the talk about her Ivy League education? Turns out she took classes at Columbia's extension school and anyone can do that. In related news, Jill Zarin supposedly tried to return a dress at Intermix with a big stain on it. [P6]
• Kelis—who is seven months pregnant—has filed for divorce from Nas. [NYDN, People]
• Marc Jacobs admits Madonna did ask him to help Jesus Luz get a work visa, but says it's "no big deal" since he'd "do anything to help a friend." [NYDN]
• An Austrian radio station now says it was responsible for hiring a Beyonce lookalike to fool a Vienna museum. [Us]
• Rachel Zoe flew first-class from LA to NYC. Her husband, however, was forced to fly coach. The indignity! [NYDN]

Shouldn’t single actresses know by now that giant diamonds worn on a particular finger shouldn't be flaunted in public? Cameron Diaz was photographed sporting an ostentatious sparkler yesterday in Santa Monica, suspiciously displaying the gory piece on her engagement ring-reserved finger in a very blatant manner. But considering she’s just barely started dating former cokehead/Jennifer Aniston ex Paul Sculfor, and has been linked to half a dozen other canoodling partners in the past few months, we’re not jumping on the “Diaz Engaged!” bandwagon quite yet. The notoriously anti-paparazzi actress might have just wanted to fuck with her camera-flashing enemies. Still, whenever a star makes the decision to debut a big ol’ gem there, it’s proven tough to gage those inevitable engagement rumors’ validity. We looked back at celebrity diamond-spotting of the past, from the most firm denials that led to splashy weddings, to the sure things that turned out to be false alarms, after the jump.