They're tall. They think that pink, kelly, and cordovan are primary colors. They pluralize the word "philanthropy" and still insist that Trinity and Haverford are prestigious colleges. And now, after decades of wining, dining, and murdering at lame-not-lamé Upper East Side haunts like Dorrian's Red Hand, the preppies are massing downtown! All thanks to Bar Martignetti (say: "Netti") on Broome Street — founded by an eponymous set of Mario-and-Luigi brothers (profiled in the Observer last summer) — where the usual Houston hauteur has been replaced by I'm-okay-you're-okay Dalton-Horace Mann rapprochement. Allen Salkin, Christiane Amanpour of Sunday Styles, reports from the frontlines.

"Mocking Poles for being stupid is perhaps the last form of politically correct prejudice," wrote Haverford '05 graduate and proud Greenpoint gentrifier David Langlieb. Um, guess not. The article, which ran as a 'Moved To Speak' column in the Haverford alumni newsletter (way to flout those stereotypes about xenophobic small private liberal arts college grads, guys!) and went on to bemoan "the high density of Polish people infesting [Greenpoint's] rowhouses," was supposedly a sendup of kids who move to ethnic neighborhoods and bemoan the lack of Starbucks on every corner, but we tend to agree with Haverford president Thomas Tritton that "the writing was insufficiently clever and the language so ineptly employed that . . . the end result came through as mean spirited and close minded."
Unfortunately, though, the response from the Polish community isn't going to open any of those closed minds.