Jesse Scott Owen, a freshman at King's College in Manhattan, was knocked unconscious in the street Tuesday when a futon guided by the invisible hand of a vengeful angel, fell on him from a height of "at least" 30 stories.

Earth is set to be destroyed or gain a new superhero or perhaps not be affected at all as a giant asteroid flies by the planet Thursday evening.

Stop! Don't move that Oreo! The Environmental Protection Agency has just announced that trace amount of radioactive iodine have been identified in samples taken from the U.S. milk supply. As vegans everywhere chuckle to themselves smugly, you're probably wondering to yourself—how the hell did that happen?