A man was arrested on Sunday after he confessed to killing and then eating his landlord's heart after a disagreement over a year-long chess game.

On Sunday’s 60 Minutes, viewers were given proof that Dick Cheney does, in fact, have a heart. Granted, the first one he had was a piece of shit: it suffered five heart attacks, started a war, underwent open heart surgery, multiple catheterizations and angioplasties, and had a defibrillator and pump implanted. But his newly donated one seems to be working just fine.

Despite complaints from all the musicians the McCain/Palin campaign are stealing music from, the assholes just keep stealing music. They ignored cease-and-desist orders from Van Halen's management and played "Right Now" at a rally in Maine last week, and they continue to blast Heart's "Barracuda" at stump stops. That much is true. Unfortunately, this open letter from Heart's Nancy and Ann Wilson is a joke column from The Stranger. Sigh. "Cease and Desist, you old fart," it reads. "God knows why we thought you would listen to us—two strong creative women. I guess we're all just 'trollop-faced cunts' to you. (Speaking of Cindy, who can blame her for hitting the pills? We'd need a Demerol epidural to live through five minutes of her conjugal duties [...] We'd rather rim Meatloaf. Seriously.)" Click through for a bigger pic of the furious missive.

John McCain, Sarah Palin, and their campaigners, just won't take a hint—or a flurry of cease-and-desist orders from all the musicians whose music they keep stealing for their nauseating "maverick" campaign. Last week, Van Halen had to tell them to STFU when the campaign started using the song "Right Now" totally without permission. Before that, Jackson Brown and John Mellencamp had to force McCain's minions to stop blasting their tunes on the campaign trail. So what did the McCain morons think was going to happen when they tried to make Heart's "Barracuda" Sarah Palin's theme song without getting the band's permission? Well, what has happened is that the psycho-eyed Veep wannabe now has a nickname based on a song she can never play at a public event again. Ha!

Now that the McCain/Palin ticket has usurped Barack Obama to become the official celebrity story of the day, actual celebrities are weighing in on Palin, and the reception is mixed. Following in the footsteps of Palin critics Lindsay Lohan and Albert Brooks, here's the latest roundup of stars going political: · Heart's Nancy Wilson has taken umbrage at the use of their band's song "Barracuda" to introduce Palin at the RNC (Palin earned the nickname "Barracuda" during her high school basketball days). "I think it's completely unfair to be so misrepresented," she said to EW. "I feel completely fucked over." · Diddy has much warmer feelings toward the vice presidential candidate, though they're expressed in equally blue terms. "You did your thing," he said on his Diddy Blog after watching Palin's RNC speech. "You gave a speech that pretty much shut me the fuck up."

I was this little girl once. Trying to get back there.