More than 100 miserable vacationers spent a large part of the last two weeks puking and shitting themselves at sea, the Centers for Disease Control confirmed Monday, after an outbreak of norovirus ravaged Celebrity Cruises' Infinity ship.

A Royal Caribbean cruise ship docked in the U.S. Virgin Islands when 281 of the 3,050 people on board fell ill with "vomiting and diarrhea." The CDC will board the ship soon to investigate Poop Cruise 2: Cruise of the Poop.

A series of giant explosions on two barges filled with natural gas have left three in critical condition in Mobile, Alabama. The explosions occurred adjacent to the disabled, shit-encrusted Carnival Triumph, currently being repaired in Mobile.

Avast! Hell cruise Triumph, the Carnival cruise ship that slowly transformed into a shit-encrusted Gulf of Mexico prison two months ago when an engine fire knocked out its electricity and plumbing, has broken loose from the Mobile, Ala. dock where it was imprisoned—searching, no doubt, for new citizens for the shanty towns built on its decks:

As though shit-encrusted cruise ships weren't enough: a Greyhound bus traveling from Atlantic City to New York was forced to evacuate because of a roach infestation:

Despite overflowing toilets and "human waste all over the floor," passengers are being forbidden from leaving a Carnival cruise ship docked in port at St. Maarten—just a month after another Carnival cruise ship was disabled and left to float for days in the Gulf of Mexico as passengers filled it with excrement and built makeshift shanty towns on deck.

CNN certainly was the only one covering the plight of the Carnival cruise ship Triumph by land, air, and sea yesterday, but to what avail? Well thanks to CNN a mother was able to see her daughter whom she had not seen for several days (and wouldn't have anyway because said daughter was ON A CRUISE), another mother was able to speak to her indifferent son via cell phone, and several other humans were able to watch a floating toilet inch its way closer to Mobile, Alabama.

The passengers of the good ship Triumph, the Carnival cruise liner disabled by a fire and left floating, stinking of shit, for days, finally disembarked last night, only to be confronted with the essential indifference of the universe to human concern:

As you're all probably well aware, the shit-covered Carnival cruise ship finally arrived in Mobile, Alabama earlier tonight. CNN dropped all other news to cover the event as though it were some sort of national disaster, which it clearly isn't. Only don't tell that to CNN's Martin Savidge, who during an interview with passenger Rob Kenny, compared conditions aboard the ship to life in New Orleans immediately after Hurricane Katrina. You know, the storm that killed thousands and nearly destroyed a major U.S. city. Thankfully, Kenny put Savidge in his place, telling him: "Well, let's put that in perspective. Katrina was a major a devastation. We're out on a freaking cruise ship, and just out here having a good time...those are two different things."

The Carnival cruise line disabled by a fire and left floating for days, stinking of shit and piss, has reached a new level of horror as the towline taking it to Alabama—where its passengers would, finally, be able to disembark and go home—broke, leaving them floating once more in the Gulf of Mexico, 30 miles from shore. It's been fixed, and the ship is moving again—but as these images show, it's still not pretty.