Capitol Police put Congress on lockdown late this morning, terrifying everyone. It didn't last long, though, after police took down a "man with a weapon" outside Senate office buildings. 'Twas a fleeting moment of excitement for poor, overworked Hill staffers.

New Jersey Rep. Steve Rothman has fired his chief of staff, Robert Decheine, who was arrested as part of a sex sting last week. He was allegedly soliciting sex from an undercover cop posing as a 15-year-old girl.

A whole bunch of Democratic staffers on Capitol Hill soon will be unemployed, like every other American. So in their last days, exiting staffers are being granted career advice, résumé building, and... grief counseling.

There is some money to be made for Capitol Hill staffers. No, not salary-wise, ha. In harassment settlements! Get a job with the most pervy congressman (all of them), wait for the inevitable "comment," and let taxpayers cash you out.