There is nothing in the world of journalism more delightful than a stupid opinion piece published in a college newspaper. What race, gender, or religious group will be hilariously insulted by an undergrad this week?

We are a religious nation, even though that religious belief is rapidly fading and notoriously shallow. What we hunger for is real communion with the sacred, the unexpected voice of a mysterious god that occasionally speaks directly to our consciousness, as the old gods spoke to Moses and Mohammad or Achilles and Odysseus. This is why 200,000 people followed Horse_ebooks on Twitter. Horse_ebooks was our inscrutable god speaking in riddles.

New York-based data scientist Aditya Mukerjee admits that his physical appearance regularly ensures that he'll get hassled by airport security, but none of his past experiences with being "randomly selected" could have prepared him for the nightmare that ensued following a standard TSA pat-down earlier this month.

The practice of public relations can turn a holy man into a god damn dolt. We shine light into flackery's darkest corners every week in our PR Dummies column. This week: fighting Lord Ganesha's battles, poorly.

The 700 Club's pious pundits, ever appreciative of cultural diversity, sound off on Karma, almost approaching accuracy in their definition before claiming it as warped Christianity. Who cares if Hinduism developed thousands of years before Jesus' mythical birth. History, schmistory!