Facebook, the online agora for hipsters and bigots, shepherds and faeries, is also—duh!—a tool of political organization! Like this group of 20-somethings from Fordham University who are steamed as hell that hipsters are invading Astoria! There's Greeks in them there hills and they don't want them smoked out by "flamboyant hipsters... turning our churches, cafes and hang outs into wasteful art exhibits!" The group is run by a group of Greeks, though, as the Daily News notes, "other Greeks distanced themselves from the group's call for battle against long-haired music lovers." After all, were not Calliope, Euterpe and Polyhymnia long-haired music lovers themselves?

Those few of you watching the commercials during Desperate Housewives last night might have been buoyed to spot Williamsburg hipster feeding trough Marlow and Sons, the home of the world's worst hipster date conversation ever. It was in a commercial for an SUV called Edge. So now it is confirmed that Marlow & Sons is where all the hipsters with $30K to drop on a SUV go for oysters and artisanal American cheese. Related: We hear that the creative director for J. Walter Thomspon, the ad firm that produced the spot, quit today!

Turns out the Cold War really was the clash between two radically different ways of life. And it continues. Here in the First World, for instance, thirtysomething creative-classers wear ridiculous clothing out of nostalgia for the halcyon leg-warmer days when their parents dressed them. Over in Russia, however, thirtysomething creative-classers wear ridiculous clothing out of nostalgia for the halcyon fur-hat days when the government dressed them. The hot new trend this season in Moscow? "[H]ammer-and-sickle buttons, gold jewelry minted to look like Soviet kopecks and shirts festooned with the Soviet coat of arms."

You would never actually go to the kind of party that websites like Ambrel, Cobrasnake, Nicky Digital, and Last Night's Party exist to take pictures of, but you sure would sit at your desk and make fun of those pictures! That's pretty cool! Alex Blagg enables you to pass judgment every week around this time.

It's the spookiest time of year: The time when you can't tell a horrifically dressed club kid from a terribly dressed but otherwise normal Halloween reveler. But we can! Your friend and ours Alex Blagg trolls the photo-trolls of Ambrel, Cobrasnake, Nicky Digital, and Last Night's Party to deliver the good news: Society is just a costume! (Deep, man!)

Bard College, the liberal arts school located 120 miles north in Annandale-on-Hudson, "puts the 'liberal' in 'liberal arts,'" according to the 'Princeton Review.' It has a 600-acre campus and nearly 1500 undergrads. This is their story—as told by a student who would like to be known as Stephan K. Names have been changed to protect the guilty.

We were excited when extremehipster Angel Hess wrote to Gawker, inviting us back to the truck in which he lives on the streets of Williamsburg for a tour. He just had to check his girlfriend's work schedule first (??), and we were all ready for a trip out to Purple 53, the bread truck he calls home that's also available as a sublet for only $1000 a month! Sadly, Angel quickly changed his mind about the upcoming commitment.

Is there anything your Friday afternoon needs more than Alex Blagg's weekly roundup of party pictures of terrifying hipsters from Cobrasnake and Last Night's Party and Nicky Digital? How could there be?

If you are old, you might not know that the youngs like to dress up in the most fantastic fashions, put their hair up, and cavort for photographers at super-cool underground parties! Then, they are documented by websites such as Last Night's Party and Cobrasnake. Furthermore! Our pal Alex Blagg searches these websites for the winners and (mostly) losers of the week! We gave this process an evocative name: Ladies and gentleman, that name is Blue States Lose.

Tuesday found our Alex Goldberg in "some Williamsburg warehouse" for aggressively-abbreviating arts organization LVHRD's Master-Disaster DNCHRD III: VNYL DJ competition. Alex was taken by the moves of this particularly mobile hipster.

Sometimes we don't understand what Michael Moore is so hot under the collar about. Yeah, sure, it sucks that so many young Americans are uninsured. But the upside of this sad trend is that there are now niche doctors who specialize in treating uninsured 18-34 year olds, and often they have overdesigned websites and blogs! At least, they do if they live in Williamsburg—like Jay Parkinson, M.D.

If you're a hipster, a yuppie, a slut, or an exhibitionist or can convincingly portray one (and come on, you're at least one), there may be a role for you in a new movie being filmed in Williamsburg! We've come across a casting notice for Meshuggeneh , "an indie horror film being shot on HD in Brooklyn. It deals with underground filmmakers who terrorize the pretentious hipsters and yuppies of Williamsburg. In addition, there's a subversive theatre troupe called Bruised Thespians that stage intense multi-media performances that deal with abuse." Admit it, you're curious! Go for it, baby, you're going to be a star!

We declare the infamous hipster loft building at 255 McKibbin Street to be an official no-go zone. Over on the building's MySpace—the building has a MySpace!—the tales of bedbug woe throughout the building are pouring in. It is time to fully quarantine the area. Put up the barbed wire and the guard towers!
BEDBUGS are a MAJOR ISSUE!!! [248 McKibbin MySpace]

"The early-20s hipsters left in Manhattan are a more dance-club oriented crowd. People who are paying Manhattan rents are interested in glamour, not rock 'n' roll." The knives are out: It's a war between Manhattan and Brooklyn hipsters.

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, Let there be hipsters: and there were hipsters. And God saw the hipsters, that they were stupidly posing in photos for websites like Cobrasnake, Last Night's Party, and Misshapes, and God said, Let there be someone to mock the hipsters: and there was Alex Blagg. And God looked down upon what He had made, and God said, Ladies and gentleman, it's Blue States Lose!

Hipster spokesmen the MisShapes want you to stop stereotyping their people. "If you're wearing black pants and shaggy hair you're automatically a 'hipster,'" MisShape member Leigh Lazark complains to Daily Intel. "I think it's just as offensive as calling somebody 'bridge and tunnel,'" adds Geordon Nicol.

What's better than a skateboard race in MoMA, better than a naked hipster olympic javelin toss, better than that time you went out barefoot for a cigarette late one August night and immediately felt a big fat slug go *squish* between your toes? Why it's Alex Blagg's weekly tour of the youngster party pics on Cobrasnake, Last Night's Party and Nicky Digital. That's the sexy horrible summer feeling that is Blue States Lose!

"I was disgusted and confused when I saw someone put hot sauce in his Pabst can at Union Pool last night. When I asked him about it, he said something about taking the edge off the bad taste. Whatever keeps your facade of irony intact. Was there a Styles Section trend piece that I missed?"

Williamsburg, nestled along the river in northern Brooklyn, has perhaps been New York's fastest-changing neighborhood in the last decade. Now subject to a massive waterfront rezoning, the homeland of hipsters is threatened with doom, just as it was when actual poor people lived there a couple of years ago. As part of our series of Users Guides, we've sent Joshua David Stein and Richard Blakeley to report from Bedford Avenue, the Champs-Élysées of New York City.

Is it any coincidence that the movie Ratatouille could, possibly, be pronounced "Ratatwee," and the film seems to have found special favor with a particular brand of anthropomorphism-loving hipster?