For the first time in almost a week, hipster grifter Kari Ferrell has failed to yield an amusing new bauble, and thank god for that. The Kari Ferrell meme is too weak to sustain itself.

The recession worried promoters, but Coachella turned out to be a "super happy" success this weekend, according to the music festival's organizers. The secret to selling $270 tickets in this economy?

Yesterday I went to Williamsburg in search of The Hipster Grifter. We may have spotted her! Also, we randomly ran into people from the previous pictures and coverage. During the work day! She's amazing!

So a regular feature with TAN on the weekend will be "The Assimilator". This week we have Vice co-founder Gavin McInnes, Grifter story-breaker Doree Shafrir, and a book editor talking about: Guess Who?

How did hipster grifter and fugitive from justice Kari Ferrell take advantage of so many people in two separate states? With charm! We have two charming emails from her, as proof. She's sorry, okay?

If Kari Ferrell lands on this Tumblr, we'll reach some sort of hipster harmonic convergence.

It turns out there is no news in New York City currently that does not relate to hipster grifter Kari Ferrell! Semi-celebrities and prospective hookups are sending us her ridiculous lies! We're programmed to care.

Kari Ferrell, the crazy pathological liar and scammer now legally known as the "Hipster Grifter," is already an internet superstar! We have new stories about her from unfortunate acquaintances. And the cops are everywhere!

It's a crazy new hipster character fond of criminal and sexual hijinks! Let's meet Kari Ferrell, the 22 year-old tattooed Utah girl who scammed her way through hipster Brooklyn. Sex, lies, cancer, and bands, yea!

Let's say an angry pit bull has a Menace Factor of 10. But make it a Japanese DJ's dog facing off against a "Celebrity facialist's" Yorkie on the L.E.S., and the Menace is, like, three.

"Slanties": stupid hipster joke, or racist hipster serious business idea? Either way, we never thought we'd see something that would make us long for the days of cash fans and shutter shades:

Ugh. We knew the whole scene was getting lame when the U.S. Department of Agriculture National Agricultural Statistics Service moved into the McKibben Lofts.

Is AOL email now retro cool? One longtime AOL user sure hopes so!

Just as you knew would happen, those innocent Christian "EX-MASTURBATOR" and "EX-HOMOSEXUAL" t-shirts have spawned knockoffs. Liberals and their "memes" are so predictable:

Wonders a tipster, "I know that Gawker posted about The Selby covering [Williamsburg Brit-It girl] Peaches Geldof's apartment... but did you guys notice how it's no longer there? Think it has anything to do with lovely husband Max [Drummey] not being anywhere in the photos/any trace of him in the apartment? Or is it just due to the fact that no bone can stand Peaches?" Hmm! (Come visit our rabbit warren, Mr. Selby—we promise we'll have plenty of boy-toys on hand.)

Maybe our ire at Brooklyn's new Brit-It Girl, sybarite Peaches Geldof, is misdirected. After all, anyone's allowed to move to Brooklyn. If they happen to have a nice apartment, then so be it.

Annoying musician Moby, pathetic nihilist Gavin McInnes and various indie rockers made a video spoof of "We Are The World," about helping trust-fund kids. Because white privilege has never been funnier!

Some people just make us hate art and Nylon mag, even though we usually like them for their downtown oh-so-cool fashion cred. What do we learn about Art Basel through Kennedy's eyes? Well, we go to Walgreens, see a band, get bored, and begin to question the existence and point of Internet video content. Is it really worth it?

This past weekend, a hip hop blog called Nah Right posted a YouTube interview with ?uestlove, a member of hip hop live band supergroup The Roots. And he said that The Roots were retiring from touring in order to become the house band for Jimmy Fallon when he takes over Conan O'Brien's late night show next year. But that video was quickly pulled, so everyone has been scrambling to find out whether this apocalyptic... thing is actually true. NBC has no official comment, but we hear that it probably is. Essaywhuman?!!!??! This is one of those things that proves you're getting old. I've never had a group that I actually like go the late night house band route. Springsteen fans saw Max Weinberg take his act to Conan's show; and I'm sure there were some jazz heads who were flabbergasted to see their main man Kevin Eubanks signing up with Jay Leno. But The Roots? The Illadelph generals opening up for that stuttering mop-headed ball of suck, Jimmy Fallon? It's kind of tragic. On one hand, we'll get to see The Roots on TV every night; on the other hand, Black Thought opening for Jimmy Fallon every night is the cultural equivalent of Miles Davis playing his horn on the subway platform to back up a semi-trained dancing spider monkey. To the extend that The Roots are a hip hop group, it's pretty fucking shocking. To the extent that The Roots are a hipster group, that's the end of that. They still give one of the best live shows anywhere, and the thought that the only way to see them live any more will be in the middle of the afternoon in a Midtown studio between periods of Jimmy Fallon snickering at his own cue cards is just an atrocious thing. But they're old and so are we, so everyone is tired. Now I will go and cut myself repeatedly.

We were so close to making it through a whole day believing that the pure joy of Obama's win had redeemed hipsters. That spontaneous post-election street celebration amongst Williamsburg's creative-class was both bad-ass and beautiful. Until the cops inevitably showed up. After all, the streets were completely blocked with people. In places like Harlem, Union Square and the East Village, clearing intersections seems to have gone pretty peacefully. But we've been getting shocked reports all day — police brutality against white kids! — and Brooklyn Vegan posted a comprehensive photo gallery of the festivities, including the copster-on-hipster clashes.One breathless account: "A few minutes after the riot cops rolled in, I saw one cop break a beer bottle on the ground with his baton for no reason at all amidst all the positive energy and celebrating crowd. I assumed for intimidation purposes." (Uh, how about for open-container-law purposes?) This is a perfect example of hipster overreach—you see, they deserve to block traffic in one of the densest cities on earth! We're all for reclaiming the streets—punk rock!—but the shock and indignation over some arrests only adds to the stereotype of the massive self-entitlement these relatively privileged young transplants possess. Brooklyn Vegan's commenters pretty much agreed: