This is a perfect moment of television: Kathie Lee Gifford provided the set and then Elaine Stritch spiked an F-bomb right in her face earlier on the Today show.

Over the weekend, Americans were shocked to discover that one of the women they trust to deliver their morning news has, for time unknown, been delivering something else, in secret: poops, to a toilet in a far flung part of her office where she thought no one would catch her.

You'd think after the first mishap, the Today Show's producers would have learned that wine, heels and dogs don't mix. They did not.

On today's pre-recorded Anderson Live, our host with the most let his famously white hair down with co-hosts Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb. While Anderson may be very good at stealing the hearts of middle-aged white women and reporting from war zones, he is not very good at drinking. It took a couple sips of white wine and good ole Andy was slurring like Diane Sawyer on election night and spouting off sex jokes.

How were you occupying yourself in this trying time? Could you eat? Sleep? Did white wine even taste sweet anymore? Whether you were Team Hoda and Kathie Lee or Team Chelsea, you can finally unclench your butt cheeks and relax.

Because TODAY has fallen behind Good Morning America in the ratings and "yum wine," Hoda Kotb is looking for a new best friend.

Today on Franzia Presents Today, Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb were talking about what life was like before Hoda met her boyfriend Jay and Kathie Lee referred to the time as "Before Jay. BJ." I'm blushing for you, Hoda.

You'd think Today hosts Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb and Jersey Shore cast members (and 6-Hour Energy hucksters) Deena and Sammi would all get along really well because they're all crazy, booze-soaked ladies with unnatural hair and seven layers of make up. You would be wrong.

During a demonstration of partner's yoga on the 4th hour of Today, Hoda had a bit of a freakout about her spanx and slip showing. Better her than Kathie Lee!

Okay, it's official—Rebecca Black has invaded everything. See White Collar's Matt Bomer and Hoda dance along to "Friday" while discussing the infectious song.

Everyone's favorite daytime lushes toast to "Boozeday Tuesday" with a gigantic margarita. But don't worry, they won't be drinking the whole thing - think of all those calories!

Frankie Muniz's girlfriend said he threatened to kill himself, then punched her in the head. Ryan Phillippe hits on Rihanna, who shoots him down. Pharrell makes goose-stepping cool. Wednesday gossip is all grown up and sort of terrifying.

Here's your daily dose of KLG and Hoda-woman! In this clip, the pair discuss the winners of last night's Grammy Awards, while flubbing the name of The Arcade Fire and dissing Esperanza Spalding. Someone should direct them to this site.

Today at Gawker.TV, Joan Rivers details her list of celebrity targets, Snooki and Joy Behar kiss and make up, Betty White drinks Grey Goose for her 89th birthday, and Kathie Lee and Hoda give an enthusiastic throw to commercial break.

At the end of an interview, the hosts used the throw to commercial break as a battle of exhausted wits. Kathie Lee's not excited for the next segment because "I'm wearing very high shoes!" and Hoda chimes in "...and spanx!"

The Kinkajou is an exotic rain-forest mammal native to Central and South Americas. It is also Hoda Kotb's new boyfriend, apparently.

When Kathie Lee's away, fun co-hosts get to come join Today's wacky 4th hour. This morning, Jimmy Fallon co-hosted and randomly broke out into interpretive dance (channeling West Side Story, we think) to Akon's "Who Dat Girl."

Not to be outdone by Jim Carrey, Seth Rogen obliged Kathie Lee and Hoda (who spent their entire hour of Today exercising) and gave his interview on a bike. This is taking New Year's resolutions to the extreme.

Something was a little off about Hoda this morning, and as soon as Kathie Lee noticed, she would not let up with the questions. Then she realized that if Hoda's happily in love, "it's just going to ruin our show."

This morning on the 4th hour of the Today Show, Kathie Lee and Hoda discussed their viral video lip dub of a Black Eyed Peas song with frontman Will.i.am. Turns out he's not a fan of Brian Williams' dance moves.