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Austin Purifoy, the 19-year-old who mistakenly pooped in a Civic he thought was his girlfriend's, is joining the Army. But we will remember him fondly, for his immortal words upon being discovered by the car's real owner in the backseat:

Apparently trying to get people to "CRAVE" their ugly, 20-mile-per-gallon (city!) CR-V crossover, Honda made a dopey, computerized 20-questions thing for their website. In case you've never done one before, that means you think of some THING and the website asks you a series of questions and tries to guess what THING you've got in mind. There are any number of sites that can do this, so Honda apparently just downloaded some sort of standard programming library to make the game work, then wrapped it in a 3-D model of their car for marketing purposes. But they forgot to take out many of the racier THINGS one might have in mind, like an herbal jazz cigarette, also known as a "joint." We're told "cocaine" also worked at one point but can't get the game to accept that — it says "I am guessing that you're thinking of something your mother wouldn't approve of." Aww Honda, just throw open the floodgates. Then the game might actually be sorta fun! [Honda]

• "Mr. Reed did a Honda scooter ad in the '80s." And: "I've seen Mr. Reed and Ms. Anderson at brunch — he snarls at her and behaves like a grouchy old ass, while she flutters around and tries to laugh it off." [City_Dater]