A teenager who's DTF pretty much anything you can put in a microwave just gave a revealing interview about how he became famous for getting all American Pie on a Hot Pocket.

Hot Pockets, a brand of garbage available in your grocer's freezer until this week's recall, apparently has many fans who share their love for the diseased-meat snacks on Twitter. But how many of these pre-recall Hot Pockets tweets ended in death?

Sad day for anyone who hoped never to know what exactly they were eating in their Hot Pockets ® Philly Steak & Cheese sandwich — according to the USDA it might be the meat of "diseased and unsound animals."

Hot Pockets is "reinventing" its brand to emphasize the "quality of the ingredients." As you laugh about that, consider the fact that consumers bought $640 million worth of Hot Pockets in the past year.

Snoop is Hot Pockets' new spokesman. The song "Pocket Like It's Hot" was written by you in '04 while eating Hot Pockets.

A sixteen-year-old was arrested in Brooklyn on Wednesday for kidnapping the daughter of an acquaintance after the acquaintance "smacked" her for eating the last of his hot pockets. Yes! That is what happened, according to the Staten Island Advance, which cites "a law enforcement source"; the suspect, one Aliyah Austin—"a transient from Brooklyn"—was, in fact, briefly cohabitating with the unnamed "acquaintance" and apparently providing babysitting services. ("The source," the Advance tell us, "could not immediately say how Ms. Austin met the victim's father.") In any case, it was the fateful hot pocket-related "smack" (surely that qualifies as domestic abuse?) that set this particular wheel in motion: