Today on Lunchtime Poll, we're talking about etiquette, because we're all rude assholes. Consider it a reverse advice column.

Turns out noted couchsurfer Julian Assange is a bad houseguest even when he isn't allegedly raping his host! Two friends of Allison Silverman—a comedy writer and an executive producer of The Colbert Report—describe the time an ungrateful Assange commandeered their sofa, ate their food, screwed up their computer, wandered around half-naked with a fuck buddy, and overstayed his welcome by several days. [YouTube via @AllisonSilvermn]

After rocking the world with the Hipster Grifter story, former Gawkerer and current Observerer Doree Shafrir is back with a new tale from humanity's murkiest moral precincts: Some dude totally trashed his friend's apartment, bad.