The top 100 U.S. advertisers spent $108.6 billion on advertising last year, which is why the advertising industry will never die even though it is mostly evil lies and nonsense created by self-loathing bastards for sellouts (like you and me).

Baby Boomers, "The Generation Where Each Individual Takes Personal Credit for Bob Dylan," are now entering retirement age. They have a lot of time on their hands, and all of America's disposable income. Now, the slavish catering to their every whim really begins.

Did you catch the big Sunday NYT story about Groupon's plans to become a bazillion-dollar company by having clever 20somethings write its ads? It was something!

Remember to include the Unilever corporation on your Christmas card list this year, ladies: without their groundbreaking research, you wouldn't know enough to be publicly concerned about the hideousness of your armpit region.

Now that Borders is dying, book publishers are collectively asking themselves, "Huh, where do we sell all these stupid books, now?" I mean Barnes & Noble is okay and all, but it's gonna take more shelf space than that to show off all those fancy attractive book covers designed to make people forget they could be buying this copy much cheaper used, on Ebay. The solution? Placing books in every kind of store, anywhere, that sells anything at all.

To entice donors to join a bone marrow registry, a company sent out "flirtatious models...who, for reasons that remain unclear, sometimes also wore electric-blue wigs." Then when dudes sign up, their insurance is billed $4,300. Now that's strategic. [NYT]

Do you watch various television shows? Then you'll be happy to know that thanks to "psychographics," marketing firms can determine your entire personality just by looking at your Tivo settings. For example: like Mad Men? You're a pinko Apple fanboy.

Though we would all like to think that saturation-style ad campaigns which blanket the media to the point that they begin to annoy even casual viewers would not lead to business success, alas, sometimes they do. Old Spice man. Yes.

Who's shilling vodka these days? Bruce Willis, as well as Spike Lee. Also, ad agencies can't find enough "creatives," and all the "creatives" that they have are stereotypical pricks. These things are all related, if you think about it.

A popularity contest that pits snobby Saks Fifth Avenue against a lady who gave away free money? It's no contest! Saks is mad because this lady—who worked there—gave away $1.4 million of their money. Counterpoint: people like money!

If you're a realtor, it's hard to differentiate yourself, because realtors are all pretty much the same. Doesn't stop them from trying though! In honor of the housing bust, we bring you the best of America's worst realtor ads.

I mean, every single ad campaign in America has had some sort of 'Hard Times' theme since the stock market tanked. It's beginning to lose its force. They have to step it up a notch. You are literally living in the Dust Bowl, people! Buy your cleaning supplies or whatever!

Pop culture scientists are now telling us that commercials actually make television more enjoyable. "The findings are simultaneously implausible and empirically coherent." That's what I'm saying! But we have detected some wackiness in this study:

An alarming trend in market research has just come to our attention: Hypnosis focus groups. Regular focus groups are full of lying consumers who are scared to admit they only purchase whatever is cheapest, and they're always dominated by one loudmouth who argues until everyone else agree with them. But not if everyone in the focus group is hypnotized—then they're "compelled to tell the truth about their economic situation and their true feelings." This seems like an extreme length to go to to hear people's deep, dark opinions on fabric softener. And the outfit selling this service is just as odd(ly creepy) as you might expect: Time machines! Sexy time! Godzillllllaaaaaaa! From the website of Hypnosis Focus Groups, complete with disturbingly literal illustrations!

Google is working with QVC on a REVOLUTIONARY advanced type of bar code that can be scanned with a mobile phone. Revolutionary in the sense of "Everything old is new again." These "QR codes" do face some obstacles, the most significant being the fact that less than 5% of people currently own phones compatible with the technology. A previous attempt at a similar product called CueCat was a big failure [Ad Age]. But Google, the company that's determined to scan all the world's books, is not giving up in its retro attachment to print-based technologies, even in the bar code sphere. Besides, these scannable QR codes have already proven their worth in trial campaigns by making the Case Western University campus "look like downtown Tokyo" and benefiting "the end user," say jargon-spouting engineers!