Shocker: PepsiCo hired the profound geniuses behind the Breathtaking, universe-shifting multimillion-dollar tweaking of the Pepsi logo to redesign Tropicana's packaging. It was a complete and utter failure! Yet another reason "rebranding" is dumb:

Allen Stanford, the Texas billionaire fingered by the FBI this week for an $8 billion financial scam, tried to go underground. But now he's been caught! In Virginia! The land of lovers—of money:

Penthouse for sale! This prewar gem features prime Upper East Side location, four bedrooms, five bathrooms, library, and quite possibly the chance to see Bernie Madoff in his Underoos:

Bernie Madoff's karmic debt is balancing out! Because yes, he ripped off a lot of worthy charities, but now we find out he also ripped off tax-evading Clinton pardonee Marc Rich:

The financial sector is heavily and sufficiently regulated! It's a familiar refrain, but last year it was coming from rich-people-ponzi-scheme operator Bernie Madoff, who added that financial criminals were always caught very quickly.

The $50 billion Bernie Madoff Ponzi scheme claimed lots of big-name victims. Now, a few days into the investigation, the Hollywood connections are coming out. Fun!

Raffaello Follieri will pay back millions! Oops, he's broke. [NYP]

Hedge fund hustler Bernie Madoff made $50 billion in wealth evaporate—much of it from some of America's richest Jews. Does this fact have a greater significance? We'll say... yes(?)

Time for an up-to-date roundup on the nifty story of Bernie Madoff, the Wall Street titan accused yesterday of running a $50 billion Ponzi scheme. Bathrobes! Big shots! And plenty of broke Jews, below!

Corporate "futurist" and salvia-smoking internet surfer Faith Popcorn is back—from the future! And she's brought predictions, for the benefit of the world. Would you like to know what the magical year 2009 will hold, according to a lady who has somehow convinced companies to pay money to her totally made-up "trend consultancy" for an astounding period of time? Behold the "New Rules of Engagement" for 2009, year of wonder:

Did you know that at Huffington Post you are now allowed to use your position as a "blogger" to simply run ads for your own craptastic imaginary version of a ripoff consulting business? It's true! Exhibit A-Z is the new column by "Jack Myers," a "Media futurist" and one of the most jargon-talking jargonists that you may ever hope to jargon with! (Actual bio item: "Jack Myers has nearly 3,000 Facebook friends"). Media futurist Jack Myers interfaces with end users of HuffPo by communicating a strategic column-formed digital word item that "originally appeared at JackMyers.com." Okay Jack hit us with some of your forward-facing media marketing advertising knowledge!: Media futurist Jack Myers knows how to make billions of dollars for the media!

Do you know who Faith Popcorn is? If not, consider yourself 2.4% wiser. She's a professional "futurist"—essentially, a lady who's learned how to milk money out of corporate CEOs by telling them about "trends" that she's spotted. Like her spiritual cousins, the "brand consultants," she has created an entire bullshit industry out of thin air, and become rich. Cheers to her. So anyhow, wanna know Faith Popcorn's latest important trend? Yea, it's smoking dope and traveling through space on the internet:

This economic downturn has, surprisingly, not killed the "branding" industry, which exists for the sole purpose of allowing graphic design majors to soak clueless corporate behemoths out of millions of dollars for what amounts to a few tweaks of a computer design template. We salute you, brand consultants! You are the hustlers of a new generation. Pictured is the inanimate, non-dynamic, old Pepsi logo; and after the jump, the "more dynamic and more alive" new logo that Pepsi just rolled out at a cost that will eventually total hundreds of millions of dollars worldwide:

Suze Orman is, essentially, a hustler. It's not that she necessarily gives bad advice—it's that she sells the idea that anyone needs Suze Orman to give them advice in the first place. Here's an example: the strongly-haired CNBC personality wrote a book called Women and Money. You know what women need to know about money? The exact same stuff that men need to know. Stuff which is primarily available for free, on the internet. Like "don't spend money on books full of facts available for free elsewhere." Unfortunately, Americans are more seduced than ever before by Suze Orman's steely gaze. She's not your friend! During the total economic meltdown of our nation's financial system, who do people turn to? Suze freaking Orman. She's now the face of FDIC, for god's sake. She may not be as dangerous as her closest competitor, mad man Jim Cramer, who actually gives specific advice that will cause you to lose your life savings. But she's insidious nonetheless; if people want financial advice, they definitely shouldn't turn to someone who's really an ad pitchwoman.

Oh, how the fake mighty have fallen. Raffaello Follieri, who just months ago was a high-flying "investment" operator with Ron Burkle's money and Anne Hathaway on his arm, "is near an agreement to plead guilty to fraud and money-laundering charges," according to the Wall Street Journal. Follieri hasn't previously admitted guilt, but the charges against him were fairly damning. Follieri would join his father as a convicted swindler. But his decision to settle (if he actually does) doesn't mean that he couldn't have constructed a defense for himself:

Nigeria is a country afflicted with rampant corruption, looting of the government treasury, oil piracy, illiteracy, grinding rural poverty, and a dire lack of clean water. But media mogul and public servant Nduka Obaigbena is committed to fixing all that and making Nigeria a model of good government. His unique prescription for social change: parties with Naomi Campbell, bespoke suits, and a penthouse at the Ritz Carlton:

Kevin Trudeau is the infomercial star and dressed-up hustler who cons the gullible of America by claiming to sell things that "THEY" don't want you to know. Natural Cures "They" Don't Want You To Know About. The Weight Loss Cure "They" Don't Want You To Know About. Debt Cures "They" Don't Want You To Know About. The Federal Trade Commission (maybe the real "They?") has fined Trudeau millions over the years and tried to ban him from making misleading claims, but he just keeps it up [WBZ TV]. In the olden days, thousands of people who had wasted money on his worthless books would storm his home with pitchforks and torches, and that would be that. Today, though, it has to go through the system. After the jump, a look at Trudeau's scams.