Squash: it's a vegetable, a verb, and a gay racket sport. So it's only natural that it's apparently huge in the Ivy Leagues. Which makes it the secret to gaining admittance into those terrible schools, according to last Sunday's Times. Because "a high percentage of the nation's most prestigious colleges field teams," obnoxious parents seeking an edge for their kids are now forcing them to play the elite, expensive game. "'Squash is "hot" right now,' said Kenny Scher, the executive director of the New York-based Metropolitan Squash Racquets Association, which organizes leagues and tournaments." Just like it was seven years ago, the last time the Times wrote this piece.