As any self-respecting gamer would, Ice-T—a rapper and reality show star who also helps Mariska Hargitay solve sex crimes on TV—has a celebratory dance that he does upon successfully completing a level in his favorite video games, which includes Call of Duty. His dance involves his dick. Does yours involve your dick?
Here's Bill O'Reilly and Bernie Goldberg, arguing about who is the the most white person on the planet, and who is a "brother," based largely on who can accurately distinguish between two famous black men. I had a long rant planned about how embarrassing and irritating it is when white people play the "who's whitest" game, and all the bullshit ignorant assumptions built into it, but I think Ice T really gets to the heart of the issue in this tweet:
The celebrities have begun trickling out of their castles, mansions, and forest lairs to host or hit up Halloween parties, collect their high-calorie holiday booty, and inspire jealousy-driven shut-ins like us to mock their outfits.
Spiderman costars Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone might be banging. Cory Monteith was a teen junkie. Heidi Klum gets naked. LiLo plans her first post-imprisonment par-tay. TGIFriday gossip.
Ice-T and Coco give marriage advice. Is Jennifer Aniston a boyfriend stealer? Thandie Newton names the director who took advantage of her when she was 16. Ed Westwick gets in a shoving match at a bar. Tuesday gossip is aggressive.
Reese Witherspoon gives an ad hoc seminar on safe sexting. Jennifer Aniston launches a PDA offensive with yet another male co-star. Kim Kardashian has wedding dress drama. Pippa Middleton never sweats. Monday gossip has sex tape remorse.
Russell Brand is in trouble! Marc Anthony is in debt! Brad Pitt is in the hospital! (Not for anything serious... unless you consider charity serious, which I do.) Friday's gossip is ringing in the new year!
Katy Perry boob-gate comes to an end. Some Lindsay Lohan news that should not brighten your Thanksgiving. Everyone loves Prince William. Emma Watson doesn't understand men. Sunday Gossip Roundup will make you think twice about bringing children into the world.
See the shopping bags in this picture? The stuff inside is worth more than your college education. Are Annette Bening and Warren Beatty on the rocks? Will Christina Hendricks do nude scenes? Thursday gossip asks hard questions.
Used to be rappers rode around in bulletproof limos, firing guns at musical competitors, singing about killing cops. Then gangsta rapper Ice-T performed a Twitter "drive-by" on a folksy soft rock singer. Introducing the new rules of celebrity warfare.
Brad's brother thinks something's rotten in the state of Brangelina, but other rumors conflict. Jersey Shore drives a hard bargain and risks getting shut out. Gary Coleman gets arrested. ScarJo on stage gets a rave review. Monday gossip starts now.
Michelle Williams and Spike Jonze taking a walk in Brooklyn ... Justin Timberlake playing basketball on a public court downtown ... Howard Stern and Beth Ostrosky sitting courtside at a Knicks game at Madison Square Garden ... Julia Roberts leaving her hotel in Midtown ... Helena Christensen walking in the Village ... Beyonce shooting a video in Tribeca ... Meryl Streep reading the Times on the set of her new movie in Brooklyn ... Madonna and Jesus Luz leaving the Kabbalah Center ... Ru Paul walking in the meatpacking district ... Ice-T and Coco leaving a show at Caroline's in Times Square ... Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard arriving at the Classic Stage Company on East 13th Street ... Nelly leaving the Trump International Hotel ... Tim Robbins playing hockey in the Village ... Kiefer Sutherland leaving Kingswood in the West Village with his girlfriend, Siobhan Bonnouvrier ... Naomi Watts carrying her new baby in the meatpacking district ... and Tyra Banks leaving the Waverly Inn.
Feel free to wish Agyness Deyn a happy birthday if you see her at Fashion Week: The model is turning 26. Carl Icahn turns 73 today. Ice-T is 51. Tennis legend John McEnroe is 50. Sean McManus, the president of CBC News and CBS Sports, is 54. Times science reporter Natalie Angier is 51. TV host Steve Kmetko is turning 56. And photographer Timothy Greenfield-Sanders is turning 57.
Louis Vuitton celebrated Marc Jacobs' new collection in honor of Stephen Sprouse last night with an exhibition preview, cocktail event, and after-party. Marc and boyfriend Lorenzo Martone (left) were joined by a long list of fashion, art, and society types, including Donna Karan, Leigh Lezark, Nicole Miller, Jeffrey Deitch, Anna Sui, Patricia Field, Patrick McDonald, Erin Fetherston, Russell Simmons, Rachel Roy, Linda Fargo, Nina Garcia, Anne Slowey, Agyness Deyn, Molly Sims, Bettina Zilkha, Andrew Saffir, Jane Holzer, Tim and Helen Lee Schifter, Lisa Falcone, Terence Koh, Adi, Coco and Ice-T, Casey Spooner, David Hershkovits, Kim Hastreiter, Rogan Gregory, Chanel Iman, Eva Amurri, Fabiola Beracasa, Chuck and Candy Pratts Price, Brooke Shields, Amalia Dayan and Adam Lindemann, Mickey Boardman, Serena Bass and son Sam Shaffer, Glenda Bailey, Robert Burke, Peter Marino, Andres and Lauren Santo Domingo, Marjorie Gubelmann, Paul Sevigny, Andre Harrell, Andres Serrano, Stephen Knoll, Andrea Rosen, Maurizio Cattelan, Kipton Cronkite, Kehinde Wiley, Debbie Harry, Jackie Astier, Tatum O'Neal, Marcus Schenkenberg, Veronica Webb, Waris Ahluwalia, Kelly Killoren Bensimon, Dr. Frederic Brandt, Monet Mazur, Peter Davis, Dori Cooperman, Mary Alice Stephenson, Melissa Berkelhammer, Luigi Tadini, and, of course, Patrick McMullan and son Liam McMullan. [PMc, Wireimage, NYO]
