Are you one of the 30,000 thirsty rubes who were lucky enough to score the Cards Against Humanity Bullshit Box before it sold out on Black Friday? Congratulations: you are a reprehensible human being, and you got exactly what you deserved.

Tonight, in the midst of browbeating the media for missing the "all Muslims burn with hatred for America" angle of the Ft. Hood shooting story, O'Reilly terribly misinterpreted why we're trying to win hearts and minds in the Middle East.

If you happen to be a commuter train driver, it's probably not a good idea to be texting with a teenager while you chug along. Lots of people might die.