idiots

Arizona Fears Mexican-American Studies Are Poisoning College Students' Minds

Hamilton Nolan · 04/17/12 08:57AM

¡Hola! That is what the state of Arizona says to its Mexican friends and residents, to distract them from the knife being plunged into their backs at the same moment. The primary problem facing the foreclosure-wracked drought-plagued desert state of Arizona: Mexicans learning things. Arizona will put a stop to that—¡muy rapido!

Unbelievably Wasted Girl Tries to Have Sex With Tree After Getting in Fight With It

Max Read · 03/28/12 12:51PM

Check out this video of an unbelievably wasted girl tries to have sex with a tree after getting in a fight with it, at Ultra Music Festival 2012, as a crowd gathers in a circle chanting "fuck the tree." Download our free drugs sex tree fight Megaupload Ultra rave ecstasy sex. Free Ultra 2012 download fuck the tree rave music Skrillex Bieber. Drugs Tree. [via Hipster Runoff]

Breitbart Idiot Publishes Gotcha Interview of Bono Impersonator (Updated with Video)

Max Read · 03/21/12 01:38PM

Breitbart.com guy and Human Events editor-at-large Jason Mattera is " D.C.'s Bad Boy Reporter," and what says "bad boy" more than ambushing U2 frontman Bono for a "gotcha" interview about U2's taxes? Ha ha, except that Mattera actually ambushed a Bono impersonator, which may be why he couldn't really answer questions about U2's taxes:

PR Dummies: Smack My Betch Up

Hamilton Nolan · 01/19/12 11:55AM

Public relations is a field whose cravenness is superseded only by the ineptitude of many of its practitioners. We will do our part to mock, expose, and belittle deserving PR people in our weekly PR Dummies column. This is our second installment.

Two BlackBerry Executives Got So Drunk, They Grounded a Jet to China

Seth Abramovitch · 12/01/11 10:03PM

To say it had not been a great fourth-quarter for Research in Motion, the Canada-based makers of BlackBerry, would be putting it mildly. There was that embarrassing North American outage, flatlining sales of their new smartphones amid steady growth for competitors, and a stock that has depreciated 77 percent since February of this year. What these guys could really use right about now is some positive publicity. Hahahahahahaha! Sorry.

Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger Shoves Foot in Mouth Yet Again

Matt Cherette · 11/30/11 03:08AM

Remember when romance-defiling reality hag Patti Stanger went on Bravo's Watch What Happens Live and suggested all gay men were undesirably effeminate sluts fraught with disease and incapable of monogamy? How about when she then lied to Joy Behar about her remarks while simultaneously making even worse ones? If so, you'll be happy to know that Stanger finally issued a proper, well thought-out apology to Andy Cohen on tonight's Millionaire Matchmaker reunion show.

Man Follows Up Incompetent Hostage-Taking With Lawsuit Against Victims

Max Read · 11/29/11 05:50PM

Taking people hostage used to mean something, you know? If you took a guy hostage, it was a big deal. It was a bond for life! These days, though? These days you can't trust your hostages farther than you can throw them, after you've killed them and wrapped their bodies in tarp.