This is how a proposal is supposed to go in Southport, N.C.: You head down to that fish bar by the water Saturday night, and take a walk on the dock with your girlfriend. “Hey, is that your mom?” she wonders, “What’s she doing here?” She turns around and you’re already on one knee, deftly whipping out the box containing your future fiancée’s engagement ring. Smooth. Flawless. But that’s not how it went for Matthew Picca, age 25.

Yesterday morning, between 9:30 and 9:40 a.m. (yes, I was running late to work) I was the victim of sexual misconduct at the Fulton Street subway stop, at the exit near Fulton and William streets. The MTA and the NYPD failed to provide substantial measures in responding to and reporting the incident.

Oakland is a world-class city with world-class terrible crime and a forever scandalized police force that often does more harm than good. Meet new OPD Chief Anthony Toribio and then say good-bye, because he's out after two days on the job.

Criminals: are they becoming less able? In cities across the world, it has been a terrible week for those who try to make their living by robbing others. Three examples below illustrate this embarrassing trend of outlaw incompetence.

Today's New York Times takes on the problem of Larry King. Specifically, the problem that no one is watching him. But that's not just Larry King's problem! His whole network has that problem. Because it is awful.