infdaily

Mickey Rourke and Companion Get A Piss Out Of Rome

Douglas Reinhardt · 10/23/08 04:00PM

Click to viewBoomp3.com Pausing slightly during a whirlwind shopping expedition, Mickey Rourke and beloved dog Loki decided to experience Rome in all of its glory and splendor. "It’s a beautiful city," Rourke said. "Just ripe with culture and history; I mean it’s just a real work of art. Something to savoir and behold.” When asked for comment, Loki said she preferred the majesty of Venice and itss various canals. Loki added, “It’s easier to get away with certain things on the street.” [Photo Credit: INF Daily] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

'Mrs. Holmes, Can Suri Come Out And Play?'

Douglas Reinhardt · 10/16/08 04:51PM

Click to viewBoomp3.com Making her way to work, Katie Holmes was questioned by a group of local children if Holmes’ daughter, Suri, was available that afternoon. Holmes said that her daughter was off cruising the various solar systems in a brand new shiny space ship. The children told Holmes that she didn’t have to lie about her daughter taking a nap. Holmes nervously laughed for a moment and said, “Yeah, right. She’s taking a nap. She’s just probably dreaming about adventures in a galaxy not that far away or electric sheep.” [Photo Credit: INF Daily] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Miley Cyrus Has Nothing Up Her Sleeves

Douglas Reinhardt · 10/02/08 11:20AM

Click to viewBoomp3.com Embattled Disney tween mega star Miley Cyrus proved to the world that she has nothing up her sleeves nor any intention of pulling a practical joke on nearby civilians. Its been rumored that Hannah Montana has been tormenting the sleepy Toluca Lake community with a wave of ding dong ditches and late night Huffy bicycle races. Yet Cyrus remained steadfast in denial of being involved in any shenanigans. Cyrus said, “That wasn’t me, y’all. I’m just too busy to ding dong ditch somebody unless it was that cranky old Mr. Cruthers. He’s soooo weird. Okay, I ding dong ditched his house, but that was it.” [Photo Credit: INF Daily] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

There Must’ve Been A Sale On Shiny Suits!

Douglas Reinhardt · 09/29/08 04:50PM

Click to viewBoomp3.com Well-liked movie star Tom Cruise took on the difficult task of escorting the greatest actress in the history of Broadway, Katie Holmes, out for dinner in New York City the other night. Cruise made sure that his beloved significant other wore an outfit similar to his, so they would not get lost in the blinding darkness of 42nd street. Cruise felt the matching shiny suits would help reflect the light in the night as the twosome slowly moved into their awaiting SUV. Cruise said, “I would be so lost if I ever lost my beloved in the big city. That’s why I have to keep such a tight hold of her.” [Photo Credit: INF Daily] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

'These Apple Boxes Aren’t As Comfortable As They Should Be'

Douglas Reinhardt · 09/26/08 02:25PM

Click to viewBoomp3.com Popular pint-sized canuck Ellen Page took a slightly uncomfortable seat on an apple box on the set of Whip It. Page wished that the box had a padded cushion hidden inside, but Page made the most of her situation. It was an altogether different story for her co-star Landon Pigg, though. Pigg said, “Well, I’m just sitting on air. I took a couple of mime classes back in France.” Page was impressed by Pigg’s incredible feat of flexibility and dexterity, but she felt it was an even bigger feat of strength and skill to sit on a box for a prolonged period. [Photo Credit: INF Daily] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

'Miss, Wait. I Promise "Entourage" Is Going To Get Better This Season.'

Douglas Reinhardt · 09/24/08 03:55PM

Click to viewBoomp3.com Thirsty Tuesday hit an unfortunate sour note for one fan of the popular HBO series Entourage when its star Adrian Grenier entered the bar. The fan attempted to confront Grenier about the program's declining quality but soon fled tearfully, leaving only boyfriend left in the bar. The boyfriend gave Grenier the Cliff Notes version of the situation, explaining how despondent she’s been since Entourage's slide. Never one to disappoint a fan, Grenier flew out of the bar, rushed down the street, caught up with the sobbing woman and gave her a big hug. He then clutched her tightly, leaning in to whisper something in her ear. The tears quickly faded into a smile and a look of optimism. Grenier and the woman left their embrace and started to walk back to the bar. “Also," Grenier added, "the economy is going to bounce back. It always does.” [Photo Credit: INF Daily] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

'Who Needs An Award Show When You Could Go Shopping With Your Mom, Right?'

Douglas Reinhardt · 09/23/08 03:30PM

Click to viewBoomp3.com While a majority of Hollywood’s biggest and brightest TV stars were getting all dolled for the Emmys this past weekend, one of the other stars had plans of her own. Grey’s Anatomy star Katherine Heigl, who decided to sit this year’s Emmys out, went furniture shopping with her best gal pal, her mom. Heigl said, “I could’ve gotten all dressed up and walked the red carpet with everybody else, but you know what? Been there, done that. Now shopping for modern Danish furniture? That’s an adventure I’m willing tackle week after week.” [Photo Credit: INF Daily] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

'No, Dad. I Told You To Bring The Pink Bear. Can’t You Do Anything Right?'

Douglas Reinhardt · 09/22/08 01:25PM

Click to viewBoomp3.com Suri Cruise brought the ruckus to the streets of New York on Saturday afternoon. The fashionable toddler’s world appeared to be swollen with disappointment after her parents, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, brought out the wrong stuffed animal to play with. Tom thought that his daughter wanted to play with her Curious George doll in the car, but Suri thought otherwise. Suri Cruise said, “In the future, I would prefer a series of options. I like George. He’s great, but I want to be able to choose from a wide variety of toys. Maybe George and Demarco the pink bear want to have a tea party together. Options, dad. Let’s look into them next around, okay?” [Photo Credit: INF Daily] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Ah, Baby Girl, Don’t Hide. It’s Just Brett Ratner

Douglas Reinhardt · 09/19/08 12:30PM

Click to viewBoomp3.com A mysterious woman wanted to remain in the shadows and darkness of Hollywood after she was spotted with hotshot filmmaker Brett Ratner outside of Hyde Lounge. Ratner attempted to use some of his directorial skills to make the woman feel more comfortable in front of the camera, but she continued to march down the street with her back turned. Not even running into a couple of doors and a pay phone would stop the woman from walking with a blind eye to the other side of Sunset Blvd. [Photo Credit: INF Daily] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Is There Something In My Hair? I Feel Like There’s Something In My Hair.

Douglas Reinhardt · 09/18/08 06:45PM

Click to viewBoomp3.com Enjoying a causal stroll in New York City, megastar Charlize Theron stopped mid-stride and asked another New Yorker if there was something in her hair. The New Yorker didn’t want to get too close because, in his words, “I don’t want my wife to see us on TMZ and start to think we’re getting a divorce. I’m kidding.” Theron asked if he could take a more thorough look at her hair, because she walked under a tree and perhaps a rogue spider left the tree to make a nest. Standing on his tippy toes, the New Yorker looked through the Oscar-winner’s hair one last time and told her she was good. [Photo Credit: INF Daily] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

The Lohan Is Ready To Strike!

Douglas Reinhardt · 09/16/08 04:05PM

Click to viewBoomp3.com On her way to the Ugly Betty premiere party, Lindsay Lohan threw up a preemptive elbow to ward off any unruly and pushy photographers. Lohan said, “I didn’t want to use my bag the other night and I don’t want to use this tonight. I haven’t used any lotion in a few days on purpose, and now my elbow is rough like sand paper.” The political blogger hoped that she could reach a peace accord with the photographers, but only time will tell. Lohan said, “I sincerely hope we can be cool with each other, just like a bunch of Fonzies.” [Photo Credit: INF Daily] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Crouching Douche, Hidden STDs

Douglas Reinhardt · 09/10/08 05:50PM

Brodacious reality TV star Brody Jenner implemented the trusty crane kick to defend Coco De Ville from the haters on Tuesday night. Jenner stood guard outside the club to keep "the negative vibes" (his words) out of the club . Jenner added, "It's Tuesday night and people need to get ready for the weekend. So, if anybody with a negative attitude wants to step into the place, I'm gonna put them in a bodybag. There is no negativity in this dojo, sensai!"

The Loneliness Of The Pivs

Douglas Reinhardt · 09/09/08 11:15AM

Entourage star Jeremy Piven spent a good portion of his lunch yesterday wondering why he didn't have any company. Piven asked his waitress at a New York City eatery if she thought that season premiere of his HBO laffer wasn't quite up to snuff. The waitress remarked, "Eh, I missed it. I was watching Mad Men on Sunday night and sort of flipping back and forth between the VMAs." Piven then asked her if she was planning on watching it On Demand, but the waitress shook her head "no", then excused herself by explaining that she needed to get Diet Coke refills over to Table 12.

Real Men Carry Their Own Luggage

Douglas Reinhardt · 09/05/08 03:30PM

Bucking the latest Hollywood fad, hunky indie film star Mark Ruffalo carried his own luggage after he landed in Toronto. The Brothers Bloom star is in town for the annual film festival and felt that carrying his own luggage was the normal thing to do. Ruffalo said, "It's my stuff. It's my wife's stuff. So, why make some driver carry it? It wasn't his decision to pack fourteen different outfits. It was my stylist's decision. Actually, come to think of it, she should be the one carrying all this stuff."

Go On, Shannen, Say Hi To the Nice People

Douglas Reinhardt · 09/05/08 12:00PM

A mysterious man wearing a gray blazer offered 90210 star Shannen Doherty a friendly shove outside of the Ed Sullivan theater on Thursday night. This caused Doherty to experience a temporary flashback to her childhood, when her shyness prevented her from adequately conversing with her father's golf buddies. After hiding behind the gray blazered chap for a couple of minutes, the mystery man encouraged Shannen to talk to the people gathered outside instead of bolting directly to her Town Car. "Come on and smile for the nice people," he said. "You're kind of back. Let's not screw it up, okay? And show the nice people that nice dance you learned, too."

Body Massages By Jennifer Aniston

Douglas Reinhardt · 09/04/08 07:40PM

As shooting on 30 Rock dragged into the wee hours of the morning, popular actress Jennifer Aniston offered free neck rubs and body massages to day players and crew members to boost morale. Aniston said, "I finally got a chance to put those six months at massage school to good use. It's just so nice to give back." Aniston's makeshift massage tent generated a huge line, despiteher strict anti-happy ending policy. Aniston added, "That's kind of gross. Maybe if the individual was my lover, but a lighting guy, not so much. Love what they do, but not that much."

She's Still Smiling, You Guys

Douglas Reinhardt · 09/04/08 02:00PM

Everybody's' favorite Brenda 2.0, AKA Shenae Grimes, remained all smiles while filming on the set of the hit CW series yesterday. When asked about why she appears to be so happy, Grimes replied, "The show is a hit! I get to work with Gangy! I'm up for the role of Bristol Palin in a Lifetime movie! Why not smile? Everything is coming up Shenae these days!"

Summer Isn't Over Until Christina Ricci Says It's Over

Douglas Reinhardt · 09/03/08 03:00PM

While the Labor Day holiday traditionally spells the end of summertime, Christina Ricci believes otherwise. Ricci, along with her Speed Racer co-star/boyfriend Kick Gurry, took full advantage of the empty beaches of Malibu on Tuesday afternoon. In between tanning sessions and delightful romps through the surf, Ricci said, "It's the perfect time for a beach trip. No kids. No teens. No tourists. I'd be so depressed if I had to spend my day trapped in an office with weather like this. It's amazing!."

This Is Bound To Be Somebody's Fantasy, Right?

Douglas Reinhardt · 08/28/08 06:00PM

On the set of the popular ABC series Ugly Betty, Lindsay Lohan ushered in the next big fad in celebrity fashion: cheerleader outfits. Taking a page out of Heroes star Hayden Panettiere's playbook, Lohan ordered the uniform online and it has been a perfect fit ever since. Lohan said, "People are always on my case about my leggings or not wearing a bra. With this uniform, who's going to bust my shit? It's wholesome. It reminds everybody how awesome their high school experience was. And if you're bored at work, you can cut out my photo and turn me into your fantasy football team's mascot." Lohan explained that she did not want to be any one's scapegoat if their fantasy team lays an egg this season. Lohan added, "It's not my fault that you went with Reggie Bush instead of someone dependable like a Marion Barber."