Why would you want to look at Morrissey's mopey face when you could have your Smiths play over the most beautiful and cosmically appropriate infomercial footage? [via Josh Fruhlinger]

Picture this: You're in a public restroom stall and it's literally wall-to-wall shit stains.

Ever since Larry King departed CNN, the talk show legend has had a hard time finding things to fill his time—which is probably why he (and wife Shawn) agreed to shill for BreathGemz in this classically cheesy infomercial. [AdAge]

Translated from Spanish, this talking head says this cooking lid was inspired from the Bruce Willis film Unbreakable. A strange inspiration for a cooking lid, but lets put it to the test.

Remember Richard Heene, father of the ill-fated (but not really) Balloon Boy? Well, he's back, and with an all new invention! Here's the ridiculous infomercial for Heene's back-scratching product, Bear Scratch, starring—who else?—the man himself. Sigh. Sigh. Siiiigh.

Do you like to text, but get slapped by women because you hit the wrong keys and write things you don't mean? Then buy Textees, a stupid rubber thing that you put on your thumb! Watch the cringe-worthy infomercial inside.

This exists: the Snazzy Napper, a "sleep and privacy shield" that "blocks out light." The extra large version even doubles as a blanket! In reality, though, it's possibly the stupidest product we've ever seen advertised. Inside, the secondhand embarrassment-inducing commercial.