Jennifer Connell, the Manhattan woman who sued her young nephew for breaking her wrist with an enthusiastic hug, didn’t want to file the $127,000 suit, her lawyer says, but the insurance company left her “no choice.”

Who should save the sight of an uninsured South Carolina man who can’t afford eye surgery? That’s the question the Charlotte Observer asks in a story about a 49-year-old Republican who declined to sign up for Obamacare because he “prided himself on paying his own medical bills,” and is now upset that the Affordable Care Act won’t bail him out.

An elderly man claims his penis "completely eroded away" over the course of two weeks, far past the point where reconstructive surgery could have saved it, because Kaiser wouldn't let his nurses remove a catheter. He's suing the insurance company for refusing to end his painful ordeal and causing "permanent genital mutilation," Courthouse News reports.

A Saskatchewan couple may be stuck with medical bills of nearly $1,000,000 because their child was born prematurely during a vacation in Hawaii. Their insurance company refuses to pay for the delivery and the recovery, arguing the pregnancy was high-risk and a pre-existing condition.

Climate change is causing rising oceans and more extreme weather. Even as beachfront development continues, beachfront living is growing ever more perilous. What happens when all the insurance companies decide to stop insuring anything by a beach?

Entitled members of the "millennial" generation—is there anything that they cannot destroy with their devil-may-care sense of youthful self-regard? The answer is "no." Millennials are now destroying even death.

It is widely understood within the insurance industry that some forms of insurance are merely polite window dressing; if a $100 billion hurricane hits Florida, for example, homeowners are fucked. Now, investors are increasingly betting on no disasters happening. What could go wrong?

When Roger Herrin learned that a court had ordered him to repay $500,000 he had received in insurance payments for the death of his son, he decided to protest the order in an unusual way: he paid approximately a third of the money back in quarters, which, altogether, weighed nearly four tons.

When the whole global economy teetered on the edge of failure a few years ago— remember that?— one of the reasons was that insurers had insured lots of things that they could not, in fact, afford to pay for, when the bill came due. Now, they're marching down that path once again.

In America, we have a stupid system of health care in which your health insurance, which might naturally be considered a fundamental human need, is covered by your employer, resulting in a horrible, expensive, uneven patchwork. At the same time, the earnings of most workers have remained stagnant for the past 40 years. It comes as little surprise, then, that workers are willing to gamble with their own health in exchange for more money in their pockets.

Have you ever baked your phone into a dessert? Lost it up a cow's butthole? Dropped it off the side of a cruise ship while recreating the "I'm King of the World!" scene from Titanic with a guy you met in the buffet line?

Welcome to Thatz Not Okay, a regular column in which I school inquiring readers on what is and is not okay. Please send your questions to caity.weaver@gawker.com with the subject "Thatz Not Okay."

Every year 2,100 American men are diagnosed with breast cancer, which obviously means that breast cancer is not a "woman's disease." Yet the federal government still treats it as such, as Raymond Johnson—an official Man With Breast Cancer—can tell you.

Birth control isn't free, my friends. I mean condoms cost a few bucks and then some of the fancier technologies that girls get cost—Christ, I don't know, but it has to run into the hundreds. So you can't expect the health insurance industry to bankrupt itself just to subsidize every lout's ability to fuck conveniently! Or can you?

Praise be the gods, our long national nightmare of peace and quiet is over. After firing Gilbert Gottfried from his job voicing Aflac's screaming spokes-duck, the insurance company has completed its national search for a less offensive replacement. The winner is a sales manager from Hugo, Minnesota (population: 13,000) named Daniel McKeague. Congratulations, Daniel. We can't wait to scramble for the mute button every time your bone-chilling squawk comes on TV.

The makers of Head & Shoulders anti-dandruff shampoo have taken out a $1 million insurance policy on Pittsburgh Steelers safety (and shampoo spokesman) Troy Polamalu's flowing locks to "protect his iconic mane for the entire NFL season." Only in America.

Heidi Klum's legs. America Ferrera's pearly whites. David Beckham's precious limbs. Jennifer Lopez's aging ass. David Lee Roth's semen. (Seriously.) A list of 15 of the weirdest insurance policies ever created after the jump.

Geico has always been known for their commercials, but they've never featured geriatric gazillionaires singing power ballads about customer service. Between acting, singing, and being stupid rich, Warren Buffet is now a triple threat.

All the revelations about Tiger Woods' mistresses over the past couple of weeks has been very bad news for the big brands that paid out millions to sign Woods up as their spokesman. Enter DeWitt Stern, an insurance company that is now capitalizing on Woods' troubles with what it claims is a totally new type of policy: "reputation risk insurance." Now when the face of your wholesome, family-friendly brand gets arrested in a seedy motel room with a crack pipe and with a tranny hooker, you'll be fully protected! The press release is below.

Florida Governor Charlie Christs: having parents of uninsured children call sex hotlines. Montana Senators: nominated mistresses to be U.S. Attorneys. Republicans running for the New Jersey's state legislature: campaigning for The Dildo Party. Today's politics are for dicks and pussies.