That was quick. Here is the grim memo that Condé Nast CEO Chuck Townsend just sent out announcing that it is bringing in McKinsey & Company to "develop new perspectives on optimizing our approach to business." This will be brutal.

Massive enemy PR firm Edelman is moving its office from Times Square to Hudson Square. Employees received (and leaked!) a motivational brochure that has a decidedly...propagandist design style. Compare:

Carol Bartz is going to be out for two weeks. The surly Yahoo CEO is having her leg surgically enhanced so she can kick ass even harder; why are the rest of you peons just sitting around, on your butts??

A tipster just forwarded us the following email from the Wall Street Journal's Robert Thomson. There's a party on in mere MINUTES. And bring your party hats, because Rupert Murdoch's in the hizzouse!

The Onion is hurting badly. And CEO Steve Hannah has already gleaned a lesson from the downturn, explained in the memo after the jump: resisting advertisers is a "losing game."

The final word on the layoffs at Gannett, America's largest newspaper publisher, which were confirmed earlier today: 1,400 employees will lose their jobs. This memo just went out to staffers nationwide, from Gannett US Community Publishing president Bob Dickey:

New York Times Co. chairman Arthur Sulzberger Jr. and CEO Janet Robinson sent out a self-congratulatory memo this morning. Among their accomplishments: the New York Times still exists, despite Michael Hirschorn's prediction that it might not. Hirschorn tells us: "Speaking as 'one writer,' I'm genuinely happy to be proven wrong." Also, employees have lost a lot of their pay and benefits and they're raising newsstand and subscription prices. Go team! (via Nieman Lab and the Awl)

In an apparent move to rip off some of Conde Nast's disease-ridden glamor, the Washington Post told employees yesterday that three cases of the dreaded Mexican Pig Flu have been found at headquarters. Full memo below, via Michael Calderone at Politico:

Brian Graden, a veteran programming executive at youth culture battle-axe MTV, has thrown in the towel after twelve years. In his goodbye memo to staffers, forwarded to us, Graden mentions an as-yet-unexplored dream: To do musical theater. Adorbs.

An executive of hotshot talent agency William Morris made the mistake of faxing a memo containing the salaries of many of the firm's highest-paid employees, and now it's all up on the internet. Here's how much they make (a lot):

This note went out to NYT staffers yesterday evening, in the wake of Tommy Friedman having to return a $75K speaking fee, because Tommy Friedman cannot read:

Remember last week when the Washington Times ran a photo of the Obama girls alongside a story about Chicago's murdered schoolchildren, and then blamed the fuckup on fancy computers? Well, they're cracking down over there!

This memo went out to the relatively small newsroom staff at the International Herald Tribune in Paris, from executive editor Alison Smale and NYT exec Marty Gottlieb, asking the staff there to voluntarily donate their unused vacation days and/ or 5% of their salaries, to help the paper survive financially and avoid layoffs. Wow.

New York Times restaurant critic Frank Bruni—the most powerful man in food, in his own way—is leaving the restaurant beat to become a writer-at-large for the NYT magazine. This memo just went out:

It's true. The memo went out today. Work like everyone else, damn it. We all must suffer as one.

This memo just went out to staffers at the New York Times. Five percent is just the beginning, guys!

In a 427-to-36 vote yesterday afternoon, the union that covers the New York Times newsroom ratified the 5% pay cut that management asked for in March to mirror the pay cut they put in place for all non-union employees.

While the New York Times Co. is threatening to shut down the Boston Globe if its unions don't agree to steep cuts in its labor contracts, employees covered by the Newspaper Guild at the NYT are voting today on whether to accept a 5% pay cut for the remainder of the year in exchange for 10 days of paid vacation (which together adds up to a 10-day furlough).

Just last week, Hachette cut pay across the board and increased work hours. Today employees got the memo below, telling them that "certain functions" in IT and finance are going to be outsourced by the end of the year. We also got a tip that Hachette is notifying freelancers that it's cutting their rates—by 3% in one case, although it may vary.

This memo from Michael Golden went out to New York Times Co. employees this morning, telling them the company's foundation is suspending its grant-giving, and its gift-matching program. Unfortunate, but probably necessary.