Unfortunately, Shane MacGowan's longtime friend and bandmate, Philip Chevron, is not. The Pogues' guitarist died today, after multiple bouts with cancer. He was 56.

Hole phobia! Particle colliders! Universe analysis! Predator prey! Introvert extrovert! Urban evolution! Science retraction! Melting ice! And surly robots spouting impenetrable brogue! It's your Tuesday Science Watch, where we watch science—despicably, if possible!

Today is St. Patrick's Day! Before you go get completely shit faced on green beer, Guinness, and Jameson, there's one thing you need to do: Admit that you don't give a shit about St. Patrick's Day.

"Greed, greed, and more fucking greed." We've all heard the schpiel about how we got into this economic mess plenty of times (maybe not enough), but have you heard it from a true Irishman, accent and all? Now you have.

[This reveler overdid it a bit on the flair at the St. Patrick's Day Parade along Fifth Ave today. We're sure he didn't skimp on the Guinness afterward either. Image via Getty]

Want to get knocked up by a blond Frankenstein who thinks everything in life is attributable to genetics? All you have to do is pay off his college debt! This Craigslist user will provide you with his "A+" manseed if you relieve him of his responsibility to pay for the education he's received. Just what is "A+" sperm? It's "Irish/Danish. 6', blond, light green eyes, great complexion, great teeth (never needed braces), very well endowed, can eat anything—and not gain weight, natural abdominal six pack." How like a god! Also? Genetics makes this specimen, "Very much into athletics, music, the arts, business..." Plus: "I believe I have great taste." Click through for a bigger pic. By the way, maybe delete the part about being Irish? The bottle is the curse of you people. [Craigslist]

In "support of his Irish roots," the mediocre late-night talk show host (and WGA picket-crosser) will support Proposition 3-17. In case you think that's important: it's not. It's just a Guinness-sponsored petition to make St. Patrick's Day an official holiday. Daly will rally with New Yorkers tomorrow in Herald Square to make it so! Which is completely unnecessary; the Irish don't need special holidays to go around drinking al fresco. [Proposition 3-17]